Matthew’s Question to Madison: How has praying changed for you the past 2 years?

“In meditation we should not look for a ‘method’ or a ‘system’, but cultivate an ‘attitude’ or an ‘outlook’” (Thomas Merton)

Prayer is something that has never come naturally to me, but it’s something the Church puts an emphasis on, so I’ve always known that there was an importance to it – I just didn’t know why. I tried different formulas – for example, P.R.A.Y, or J.O.Y, or praying through the Lord’s Prayer. I’d start out strong with a method, and then after a week or two it would become boring, and I’d be back to square one. And then I’d get frustrated that I was never praying the right way, so I often opted to not ever pray – why do something you know you’re going to fail at anyway?

I became so focused on the ‘how’ of prayer, and forget about the ‘why’.

Over the last while, I’ve focused less on the how and less on the structured time of prayer, and more on the all-day communication. I’m in no way downplaying structured time of prayer – some of those times are when I’m most reflective and thankful towards my Heavenly Father. BUT, for me, I can get so caught up in the routine and carving out a specific time for things (though important), that it becomes a strict start and end time.

The ‘why’ of prayer boils down to relationship.

I think of the people in my life that I have relationships with. There’s intentional time to go for walks and coffee dates, that’s for sure. Then there are spontaneous texts throughout the days, and phone calls to catch up, or simple notes of encouragement, or reminding each other of funny moments that have brought us closer.

Relationships are so often not logical, and so not systematic. And I like it that way.

So why try to create a logical relationship with the One who created me? There’s definitely no logic in that!

My prayer life has now expanded to car rides, and walks, and sitting in the office, and before meetings, and in meetings, and on and on. I find it too difficult to remind myself of all the things I want to pray for during my daily devotional time, so I just pray about it right then and there – especially when someone asks me to pray for them.

Now, it may sound like I have this whole ‘praying without ceasing’ down perfectly. That is false! I’m still learning. The other day, I realized I had made a big decision about something before praying about it. I was in the resource room at work, and as I was cutting paper, I immediately repented.

So in no way is it perfectly natural yet. But I have found that having the freedom to communicate with my Heavenly Father all day, and not just during a structured time, has changed everything. I feel more in tune with God and connected to Him throughout the entire day.

Let’s tie it back to earthly relationships again. I find conversations with people most productive and meaningful when we have life stories to talk about together. Imagine sitting with someone at a coffee shop, having done nothing previously – you’d have nothing to talk about. I feel closest to God, and like we have more productive and meaningful conversations as life unfolds – there’s so much to talk about!

As Thomas Merton said, “Meditation has no point unless it’s rooted in life.”

In closing, I’d like to share a few phrases that I’ve found myself continually praying through.

1.“Give me eyes to see what You see”

I like starting off my day asking God to give me His eyes. I want to know how He sees people; how He views situations; how He would interpret actions. My eyes are so faulty. For example, I’m prone to seeing people for their weaknesses, and I know how damaging that can be – for my own perspective, but also in how I treat them. I want to be able to have an eye transplant and see people for who God says they are, not who I think they are.

2.“Be my guide”

There have been days where I would pray that God would be my guide, and He would take me places I never thought possible. It sounds profound, but it could be as simple as running into someone I know at the store or having a friend randomly call me up to go out for coffee, or having a stellar interaction with a child at one of the programs I run. I never want to miss out on an opportunity for a conversation or having some good ole quality time with someone, so I love when God guides people together.

The other way to take this one is to ask God to be the guide through specific situations where I know I can’t deal with it on my own strength and knowledge. And then I just trust that He will guide my thoughts and actions so that they will line up with what He wants.

3. Psalm 23:5

This has become my verse for this year, and it says, “You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” I’m pretty good at catching myself in moments of weakness of looking at the enemies around my table. I immediately think back to this verse and pray through it – and thank God for the freedom I have from sitting at His table.

These are a few things I’ve learned over the last two years in regards to prayer – and it’s a topic I hope to never stop learning in since there is so much to learn about the One we pray to.

Madison’s question(s) to Matthew: Do you think that working for 12 years in a bank has helped you in your role as a pastor? What are your thoughts on people starting in full-time ministry right away versus having another career beforehand?

There are many ways for me to answer the first question. The first, and simplest answer to this question is yes. How is this so?

First, I am able to relate to a variety people, (particularly to those in management roles and business owners), in ways that perhaps others could not. In my banking career, I had bottom-line financial responsibilities, targets that I had to meet. I had to design strategies, get business cases approved, develop marketing campaigns and then report on the results I said that we were going to achieve. As a result, I appreciate the pressures that they face and I can enter into their world trusting that I am able to bring a Christ-centred perspective into their situations.

Second, with the size of the church I serve in, the skills I learned in my banking career are utilized and I am able to add value that others could not. The bank paid for my training that is now fully used for the sake of a local church. Interestingly, I have been told by those that serve on our finance team that I am able to “get it” fairly quickly.

Third, I developed the rigor of accountability as well as a broad view of how things can work. The world of “church” can be quite narrow. All you have to do is look at the many conferences that are offered and it is often the same key speakers that headline them. There is a specific way of seeing the world that may limit what is possible. Additionally, I have encountered many people who work in churches that don’t have a proper sense of what they are to accomplish and are also not held accountable for what they have been set aside to do. I recognize that accountability can be taken too far and that in the church we can count “external stuff” and fail to see the internal life change that is taking place. And yet we need to make sure that those who have been “hired” for work in a church are actually doing the work. My banking career was rigorous in teaching me this.

But on the flip side, the answer is also no.

My business and marketing training and development is also a specific way of seeing the world and I can forget that there is a spiritual realm that I simply can’t control. My skills are useful for my church context but would be completely irrelevant to some degree if I was pastoring in a church of 100. And my accountability to performance can cause me to miss the inner growth of someone as they suffer through pain or wrestle with who God is and what he is developing in them.

My journey is my journey. I believe that God is orchestrating something in and through me. I don’t understand all of the nuances, yet I am trusting that he has put in me what I need for this season of my life. And, if he has another place for me going forward, I will assume that my season as a pastor has been another piece of the puzzle for what God has for me next.

So, what are my thoughts on people starting in full-time ministry right away versus having another career first?

I think my last statement says it all. I don’t believe that there is any one way that is better than others. God is the one who is planning the course. Proverbs 16:9 “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” (NLT) “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” (NIV) “We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it.” (Message)

I believe that we all need to move ahead with a humble confidence. If you believe that “paid” ministry is your next step, then take it, and do it with all of your energy. And yet, always be aware of the reasons you are doing it. Is it because you are afraid of “secular” work (if there really is such a thing for a follower of Jesus)? Not a good reason. Is it because no one else would hire you but the church had a spot and they couldn’t find someone with the real skill set they needed? Not a good reason. Is it because you believe that working at a local church is “more spiritual” and thus work of a higher calling? Not a good reason.

God is at work. His story is playing out across the world and over time. He invites us into that story. Yet we must always be willing to play the part that he has for us. In my experience, so few people actually spend the time to reflect on this. Certainly, some do it when life throws them a curve, when they lose their job, when a relationship goes sour, when sickness causes a change in lifestyle. But not many reflect on life regularly and ask God to reveal any course changes for their life.

Some will be called into ministry at a young age and be involved in this work for 40-50 years. Others will hear the voice of God at age 40 and make a significant life change. It can all be the right choice for that particular person. Let God’s story play out in your life.

For the kingdom.