Leading and Learning

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Consistency

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Clocks v2

Here are some thoughts from my daughter as she continues to work through the discipline of consistency.

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Consistency. Yes, we all know this is something I haven’t been good at when it comes to blog writing, but some of you have challenged me to get back at it – so here I am. Besides my lack of consistency of writing, consistency is something that is very important to me, and something I strive to achieve. And for some, hearing the word “consistent” may trigger the word “routine” or “boredom”. I can assure you, it goes much deeper than that.

For the last year and a half, I have coordinated an after school program in a lower income neighbourhood in London, and it has stretched me in ways I didn’t know I could stretch. I am there twice a week with the kids, and we do lots of things together – this month we’ve been looking at famous artists and have been re-creating their artwork. These kids have amazing imaginations and art abilities! What I have noticed though, is that the longer I am there, the greater the impact. Consistency is not easy, but here are three things that I have learned about its importance.

First, it builds trust. Trust is not an easy thing, especially with children and adults who have not had a lot of success with trusting others. With that in mind, I knew going into this that I would have to commit a large portion of my time to this neighbourhood, and almost two years later, trust is finally building. The kids trust that what I say is true (praise is not something many of them hear often), and more importantly, they trust that I’m not going anywhere. They can let their guard down (sometimes not a fun thing for me to deal with), and understand that I will love them unconditionally. It also moves beyond the kids – the parents have begun to trust me, and some have opened up about deep issues. Gaining complete trust is a very slow process, but consistency will get you there.

Second, long term impact. A while ago I sat down with a lady who lived in the neighbourhood when she was a child. She grew up in a house where domestic violence was the norm, and as the oldest child, she had to care for her 3 younger siblings. Living in that environment led to disastrous teenage/young adult years. When she hit rock bottom, she went back to church. Why? Because the only thing consistent in her life as a child was the church bus. In the midst of the unpredictable and inconsistent, she always counted on the bus to come on Sunday morning. This story is what keeps me focused during those times I think, “Is what I’m doing actually helpful?” In the midst of the chaos, the kids can guarantee that we will be there Tuesdays and Thursdays right after school with arms open wide for a hug. My prayer is that this is what will keep them on the right track, or bring them back if they do end up hitting rock bottom.

Finally, I’ve learned about tough seasons. I would be lying if I said I jump for joy every week about going to see the kids. There are times where I just don’t want to go, or times where I don’t want to plan, or times where I don’t think anything is working. It’s during those times that the first thing that comes to mind is that I should quit. I would say it’s during these seasons that people can quickly fall into the trap of, “I don’t find joy doing it, so it must be God telling me to step back.” Nobody could tell me that God would want me to step back from caring for His children. It’s in those tough seasons where I have to think beyond myself – really, it’s never about me – and trust that God is still working through me even when my heart isn’t in it. I simply have to blindly obey.

Consistency. Its importance stretches beyond the kids in my after school program – it can be applied to all areas of life – including my role in leading other girls in a triad. Week in. Week out. Consistent.

1 Corinthians 15:58 says, “Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain.”

Madison

Cat Litter Discipleship

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RookieWe have a cat that lives in our house – Rookie. When I say we, I actually mean my wife and daughter have a cat; the cat has little affection for me and I for it. Rookie loves my wife Jan and follows her around like a lost puppy. When Jan isn’t around, it loves my daughter Madison, and will sleep in her room when she is working simply to be near her. When only I am at home that cat is nowhere to be found, unless it needs food, then it will rub my ankles until I give it food, after which it no longer has any use for me.

For years I have chosen to not have any responsibility for the cat and its well-being. Jan and Madison feed it, pet it, talk to it (the cat has 5 distinct meows, each with a different meaning) and, most importantly, clean out the litter box. Now the first three aspects are simple to take care of since it is often the cat that is initiating the response. However, cleaning the litter is not always that noticeable since the box is in the basement and unless you remember to go there, “out of sight, out of mind” kicks in.

For a long time I have simply chosen to “nag” about cleaning the litter box, at times successful, but I’m sure for the most part it has simply made my family more aloof to my comments.

A couple of months ago I asked myself the question I ask many people I come alongside (warning: be careful when you expect from yourself what you are asking of others), how is this related to my discipleship?

If you are around me often you know that I have a standard line: “It’s all about discipleship.” Many people roll their eyes at me when I say this but in reality, shouldn’t it be? When I’m riding my bike with friends and perhaps we encounter a tough hill, I’ll say that “it’s all about discipleship” so let’s tackle this hill. When my daughter has a touch assignment she’s working on and wants to give up, I’ll say “it’s all about discipleship” so step in and just do it.

So as I thought about the litter box and my less than stellar reactions in the past, I decided to make it about discipleship, MY discipleship, not theirs. As such, for the past while, every day I make it my responsibility to go to the basement, scoop up whatever needs scooping, and move on – 3 minutes tops. And each time I do this, I think to myself, “Matthew, this is all about discipleship, about commitment, about doing for others, about taking on what you could argue is really not your responsibility, about putting the towel around your waist and washing feet, the lowest of tasks. It’s all about discipleship.” As such, I have been pondering “cat litter discipleship” these days.

How do you see your life? Is it all about discipleship?

For the past few years, I have also chosen to make our bed. I know that I don’t do it as well as Jan does (how she gets all the wrinkles out I will never know, not my gift) and yet I do it. I partly do it to serve my wife, and that is an aspect of discipleship, but I’ve also chosen to use it to remind myself of God. In the beginning God formed the earth, he created beauty out of what might be referred to as chaos, the earth was formless and empty, and God brought order to it.

As followers of Jesus and as those that come alongside others, we are called to help people bring order out of the chaos of their lives, to guide them in to good spiritual disciplines that will help them have lives that are anchored no matter what storm this life might throw at them. And when I make our bed, I think of these things. It reminds me that I am to bring order out  of chaos, and by ordering the sheet, blanket and pillows on our bed, I set my day on a course that reminds me to bring order out of chaos – “your kingdom come, your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven” – it’s all about discipleship, even making the bed.

So, how do you see your life, your everyday life? Cat litter, making the bed, etc? Are these simply activities you go through, or can it be more? And as you lead others, how can you lead by example so they see that, in the end, “it’s all about discipleship”?

May that phrase resonate in your mind each day.

For the kingdom