I’m always very interested in chatting with those who take the next step and choose to disciple others. I’m excited for them and pray for them as their names come to mind. They have begun a great adventure that will not only have a lasting impact on those they lead but on themselves as well.

Interestingly, from time to time I will hear them talk about their experience, either to me or to those that they are connecting with. I am surprised that at times they speak in terms that present themselves as someone who lacks experience, doesn’t really have much to offer and is simply “facilitating” the discipleship process.

Can I provide one word – “nonsense.”

Now hear me out.

You have just begun a relationship with one or more individuals who agreed to allow you to guide them on this journey. Apparently they sensed in you something that they do not have and they were willing to place themselves under your leadership. They are trusting you to take them places that they have not been. At the least, you owe them your confidence.

Now let’s be honest. You know and I know and I believe that those you lead know – you are not perfect. That’s a given. You will be learning during this journey just as they are. You will be learning from them perhaps as much as they learn from you. This is all good and normal. In fact, if you aren’t learning then something isn’t working.

And yet I believe that presenting yourself as someone who really doesn’t have something to offer is in a way false humility.

Look at it this way – are you personally going to follow someone who presents themselves as less than competent? Think about those you have followed and have listened to for advice. My guess is that you looked up to them and were glad that you met them and were able to glean insight from them. You didn’t hold them up or put them on a pedestal as though they were super human. And yet you made changes to your life as a result of the confidence they demonstrated on the topic of conversation.

You are being the same for someone else – lead boldly, believe in yourself.

Perhaps this sounds like a pep talk for a sports team full of bravado and self-help statements. Perhaps. And yet I honestly believe that as we appreciate our standing under Christ, we can move forward in confidence and believe that we will make a difference in someone’s life. The Apostle Paul on one hand spoke of himself as being the worst sinner and yet he also said to those he was leading to imitate him as he imitated Christ. Bold, yet I’m sure also reassuring to those who attached themselves to him.

People want to be led, I’m convinced of that more and more. Even though I am leading others, I am still looking to be led as well by mentors of mine.

So as you move forward on this journey, do so with self-belief. You have the opportunity of a life time. You are leaving a legacy. Be excited. Be confident.

For the Kingdom.

When I think about the word success, I am taken back to my high school days and the cheerleading squad that would cheer on the various sports teams. “S-U-C-C-E-S-S, that’s the way we spell success. Can we win it, well I guess, Eden Flyers are the best.” And then they would repeat it, over and over again, jumping up and down, doing cartwheels and waving Pom-poms.

In sports, success is defined by winning – if you win, you are successful, and if you lose you are not. Now I suppose as a team is rebuilding they will look for signs of improvement over time and call that success, but in reality, we all know that success in sports is to win, period.

So how would you define success in a discipling relationship? What is a win? Is it even reasonable or worthwhile or biblical to do this? When it is over, when you leave those you were formally discipling and send them on their way, how will you know if you were successful?

I’ve pondered this question over the years. And as with any rebuilding sports team, I am always looking for signs of growth, and in a way each sign I see as part of the success, wins along the way. Have their prayers become more about others and not simply their own needs, has the rawness of certain scriptures gripped their lives in unique ways demonstrating an openness to hear from God, has their  vulnerability in our relationship grown, have they made positive changes to their various relationships due to the subtle promptings from them Holy Spirit, and on and on. These are all great things and I am excited when I see any one of them taking place.

And yet for me, these are only markers on the journey to success, they are not the win.

So how do I define success?

Success is when someone I have discipled steps out from my council and chooses to come alongside someone else and take responsibility for their spiritual growth as I did for them – that for me is success. It is pretty easy to measure, there are no fuzzy edges to guess at – someone either is or isn’t discipling someone else.

And here is the interesting thing – I believe that, after 25 years of building into the lives of other guys, that I am about 50% successful. Of all of the guys that I have spent time with, week in and week out, praying together, engaging with scripture, sharing meals, serving together, laughing, crying – half of them decide that this is important enough to do with others while the rest carry on with life.

I have shared this definition with others over the years. Some think that I am being harsh or critical in my definition of success, that I have no idea the impact my discipling relationship had on the lives of those who perhaps did not choose to take up the mantle of discipleship as I have defined it. That is true. Someone’s life will change if they are in a tight relationship for 1-2 years, no doubt, and I am thankful for that. And yet for me, the only way that others will gain the benefit of a life-on-life discipling relationship is if those who have experienced it choose to also take up the mantle, there is no other way.

As such, I will continue to hold to my definition of success and continue to work toward increasing my success rate beyond 50%. This is what I will choose to “run my race” for. How do you define success?

For the Kingdom.