As much as I espouse having some preset activities for every discipling relationship that I engage with (scripture memory, prayer, curriculum, serving), I must always recognize that each person is unique and that their journey as such will be unique. If I don’t keep this before me, I will treat each person as though they were on an assembly line and fail to see how they have been created individually.

I have probably made more errors on this aspect than any other over the years. I am forever thankful for some of the great guys that I have had the privilege of leading who were bold enough to push back when they felt that I was not engaging with them in ways that were meaningful to who they were. It is during those moments that you must be willing to eat humble pie, learn from those you are leading, and make adjustments to the journey.

It is also important to keep in mind that these differences come in a variety of forms.

There are personality differences. Some individuals have deeper sensitivities to various aspects of the journey while others are less so. Some find security in structure and a clear agenda while others are more free flowing in their approach. Some look for the many details, while others are looking to see the big picture learning. None are wrong, just different.

Beyond personality, there are different passions. This becomes obvious with the various topics you will cover. Some will naturally engage in certain topics simply due to their passions. Be conscious that you can learn to understand some topics more intimately when you hear someone with a deeper passion for it talk about it and how they see it impacting themselves and the world.

Family situations are also huge factors in the disicpling relationship. Someone who is in the middle of raising children in elementary school will approach things much differently than a single 22 year old. Someone working through marriage difficulties will see aspects of God differently than someone who is enjoying a vibrant relationship.

There is also a person’s academic bent. Some enjoy reading and study while others were happy that they made it through high school; books just aren’t their thing.

All of these differences should not in any way completely sway the discipling process. We all need to be stretched outside of our comfort zones for learning to take place. Yet as you lead others, always be aware of the uniqueness of each individual. Leverage who they are, learn from each of them yourself, and you will enjoy the variety of the body of Christ.

For the Kingdom.

In a recent initiative at our church, I provided the opportunity for people to engage with various social issues in our city that involved serving alongside various non-profit organizations. Along with hands-on serving, we met on a monthly basis. These meetings included learning about a specific issue (ie homelessness) from experts in the field as well as reflecting on various scriptures such as Isaiah 58 and the Good Samaritan. Several of the participants indicated to me that they were only coming for the learning about the service opportunities. They didn’t believe the scriptural reflecting would impact them that much since they had grown up in the church and knew it all.

Wow, were they wrong. Not from my perspective but from their own admission. After the 8 month initiative was over, I interviewed a number of them. To a person they described the impact that the scriptural reflection had had on their lives, impact that they had not expected. They were amazed at the power it had to change their hearts and how it made them read the bible differently.

Unfortunately, I see too many so called discipling relationship that limit the input of scripture. They read books about the bible, or books with special interest topics or by the latest Christian writer, but don’t simply have the rawness of scripture in front of them. Perhaps the leader is bored of looking at the bible, or wants to explore other topics of interest to them. That may be fine, yet the role of the leader is to bring into focus the building blocks that any disciple of Jesus needs for long term health and growth.

Scripture is one of the foundational aspect of any life-giving discipling relationship, always has been, always will be. Scripture does change lives. Do you believe it?

“All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the person of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

“How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word. I have tried hard to find you— don’t let me wander from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”

Feel free to supplement any discipling relationship with other materials, both written, audio and video. But always remember, your role is to set someone up for long-term stability and growth. The latest author may have some neat things to say, but books with their latest ideas will come and go, they will tickle the mind only for a season. Without the foundation of scripture and the belief that it is a core component, you will not set people up for the long haul. Don’t underestimate the importance of the foundation of scripture. Painting walls that aren’t set on a firm foundation is foolishness.

For the Kingdom.