In every discipling relationship I engage in, I desperately want to witness life change – preferably significant life change. Each time I meet with the guys I’m connecting with, I look for every sign of positive growth. Is the conversation deeper than the last time we met? Do their prayers sound more passionate? Are they enjoying scripture more? Are they intentionally engaged in acts of service?

When I see what I deem as growth, inwardly I celebrate and at times pat myself on the back. When I don’t see what I deem as growth, I might get frustrated and discouraged. Often times it even leads me to long periods of prayer telling God what he needs to be doing on my behalf so that I’ll see the growth that I want to see.

STOP!

Why this desire on my part to see growth? Why do I think that I know what growth even looks like?

I recall a situation where someone I had met with was moving out of the city. We had connected for about a year and I honestly felt that the life change I was hoping for never materialized – and now he was leaving. I chalked it up to a good but not significant experience and moved on. Six months after he left he called me. He thanked me for the huge impact that I had had on his life and that he had already rallied a few guys around him for the purposes of discipleship – and he was leading the group!

That was five years ago. And to this day he continues to intentionally build into the lives of others. He loves God passionately, engages with scripture regularly, and leads his family and business with integrity. He has every reason available as to why he is too busy to seek out other guys to lead. Yet something profound happened to him in our time together. I didn’t witness it when I wanted to, and yet God was doing an amazing work in his life.

I have chosen to intentionally build into the lives of others. To go the distance. Life-on-life. Long-haul stuff. Yet in the course of each relationship, I need to continually remind myself that I am simply called to be obedient to each relationship. Whether someone “gets it” in the end is not my decision or responsibility. I can not live for the accolades of others. I need only live for the affirmation of Jesus: “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Jesus said “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me, therefore go and make disciples…” Matthew 28:18-20. The authority is Jesus’, mine is discipleship. Jesus causes the life change, I’m simply the instrument he uses. I need to relax and just do what I’m called to do. Life change is not my responsibility. “My yoke is easy and my burden is light” Jesus said. That’s the life I want to live.

Stay faithful. Stick to the course. God will work in ways that we can never fathom.

Well done, good and faithful servant.

Blessings . . . Matthew

Did you ever wonder why most curriculum that is developed for spiritual growth (ie small group material) is typically 6-8 weeks in length? Ever wonder why the majority of curriculum embraced by churches is DVD based requiring no preparation for both the attendee and the leader?

Although I have not researched this specifically, my experience would tell me that there are two reasons: novelty and effort (or lack of). We continually demand new stimuli and we don’t want to work at it.

Discipleship does not embrace this. Yet you do need curriculum, something to take you where you want to go. You can make up your own or use something that already exists. And though there have been many curriculum options developed over the years, not all are created equal.

Over the past 8 years, I have chosen a book called “Discipleship Essentials” by Greg Ogden, a 25 week model that establishes the foundations for the disciple. I believe that I am on my 9^th time through it. You might ask: Don’t I get bored with it? Not all. In fact, with each group I take through it, new questions come up and I see the material in new ways. And remember, my goal is to help people become disciples, to establish the basics in their lives, not to read the latest and greatest book.

Apart from the topics covered, why do I believe this curriculum is effective?

First, the length of 25 weeks allows for habits to actually be formed. Most groups of guys I meet with will typically “hit the wall” around weeks 6-8, the usual length of most curriculum developed. After this time the novelty wears off and we move into the zone of true discipline. Each guy has to ask themselves – am I in or not? You can liken this to any type of physical exercise regimen. Many people begin their membership in January, and by the end of February they’ve stopped, unwilling to do the hard work and as a result they never see the benefits.

Second, there is “homework”. At the very least, if a guy spends 15 minutes a day for 4 days of the week, they can easily accomplish the work. For most, even this little amount of investment in their relationship with God is a huge step, yet it is necessary. It is always exciting to see how, over time, many of the guys will go beyond the assigned work and begin to dig into other scriptures and readings that enhance their learning.

Third, scripture memory. I have already commented on this in a previous writing. Suffice it to say that this aspect must always be part of the discipling process. No questions. By the end of the particular curriculum that I have chosen to use, the guys will have memorized more than 25 sets of verses, and they always comment on the significant impact it has had on them personally and relationally. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Avoid including scripture memory at your peril.

There are other items I might insert from time to time into the process and other curriculum ideas that I use once this initial 25 week unit is completed, but I’ve chosen this to form the foundation. Interestingly, what I have also found is that once we’ve established some healthy patterns, everything else we do takes on a new energy, the guys just know what to do. One person I’ve met with for awhile is reading through the bible and simply wants to dialogue about what he is learning. He has developed the necessary habits, is self-motivated, and we can embrace the bible together each week. He also has his own group of guys that he is developing and will be a great living example with the habits that he has developed.

Find the curriculum that works for you, ensure that it develops the habits of a disciple, and move forward. However, don’t ever settle for mediocrity. Push through the novelty barriers and enjoy the fruit that comes from embracing the richness of discipleship.