During a recent conversation with a couple of long-time discipleship friends, we asked each other what we have learned along the way and how we have changed what we do with respect to coming alongside another person in guiding them on their journey of faith. It was a great conversation that allowed us to encourage each other, knowing that we all may have many more decades of engaging with others should God give us the strength and health.

With all that we talked about, we agreed on one main theme – we all have recognized in deeper ways the uniqueness of each person’s journey of faith and we have all allowed much more leeway in those we come alongside.

This might seem like an obvious statement, and yet how often do we infer what we are learning and how we learn to other people. We are growing in a certain area and so we assume that others should also be growing in that area. God is prompting us to read the bible in larger chunks so we believe that this is what someone we are meeting with should do.

And yet, God sees us all uniquely. God prompts each of us uniquely. God has an assignment for one person to take on and as such he is moving in their life differently than someone else.

After 30 years of regularly meeting with guys, I am much more likely to be watching for how God is speaking to them personally and doing what I can to pray for and fan into flame the specifics of their life instead of trying to get them to come along with what God is prompting in me.

I am glad to share where God is guiding me and allowing them insight into what I am wrestling with on my own personal journey, trusting that I am modeling for them what this looks like. Yet I need to be in tune with how the Spirit is touching their life and providing whatever guidance and prayer I can for them. It is a lot more fun having a front row seat to someone’s life change than trying to force them into my life change.

Lately, I’ve been using the analogy of a home with many rooms. When we choose to follow Jesus it is an invitation to enter into our home, and he gladly comes in through the front door and is now present. However, our home also has many rooms in it – the finances room, the marriage room, the parenting room, the loving your crazy neighbour room, the sexuality room, etc. Jesus walks around our home and asks for access to these rooms, one by one. He wants to enter each room, rearrange it, move some things out and move some things in.

I believe that God knows the best order in which to enter the rooms, and it looks different for each one of us. The important thing is that I am eagerly listening to his promptings and opening up the door to room as he asks. And, as I come alongside others, to help them discern what rooms God is wanting access to in their life and being there with them as they allow God access into the messiness or barrenness of a specific area of life.

It is my desire that as we come alongside others, we will be listening intently with them for what God is calling them into and then being a friend, guide, mentor, contributor and prayer support for them.

For the kingdom.

Sometimes God gives us a picture of what is taking place beyond our expectations that keeps us going. It’s not that we are necessarily asking for some encouragement (although it’s always nice to have at times), and it’s not that we will stop doing what we are doing if God doesn’t reveal himself to us. And yet, without notice, God orchestrates a time where we are allowed to experience the beauty of our work of discipleship that causes us to pause and reflect.

I enjoyed one of these times recently. It was a Sunday where I was asked to speak at a church in another city where we previously lived. Since I was a guest, several of my friends who lived nearby chose to come and support me. These friends were both peers in this journey of discipleship as well as those that I had come alongside in previous years, as distant as 14 years ago.

At lunch, we enjoyed conversation with my disicpling peers. We reflected on the past 30 years of building into the lives of others. We have all stayed the course, no matter where we have lived and no matter our occupation, we have all continued in the slow and steady work of meeting regularly with a few guys and guiding them on the journey of faith. We talked about the “successes”, we shared the frustrations. We enjoyed hearing how each of us has changed over the years with respect to “how” we go about the work of discipleship – and yet we have all continued in the work, trusting that this is what we are called to do and believing in the impact of the work.

In the afternoon, a bbq was organized by a number of the guys that we had had the opportunity to build into some 14 years ago. These young guys were in university at the time and now are all married with children of their own. We talked of the experiences we shared. We heard of their ongoing faith journeys and how they have stepped in to serving for the sake of the Kingdom of God. Those with leadership gifts are a driving force in their local church contexts. Yes, they have the busyness of life surrounding them with spouses, children and careers, yet the work that we engaged in with them some 13-15 years ago continues to influence their lives to this day.

And as I drove home that evening, my heart was smiling. I thanked God for allowing me to experience the beauty of that day, something completely unexpected and yet so amazingly tangible.

There is a phrase, “a long obedience in the same direction.” This is what the past 30 years of discipling others has been for me. Who are the guys, ask them to join me. Meet every week for two or so years. Engage the scriptures, memorize verses, challenge, encourage, serve, pray. And then do it all over again the next week. When I have given these few guys all I can, find the next guys. Meet every week for two or so years. Engage the scriptures, memorize verses, challenge, encourage, serve, pray, And the do it all over again, etc, etc.

I am grateful for the lives that have intersected with mine. I am grateful that God gave me this day that gave me insight into what the past 30 years have meant to so many. I am grateful for the work of influencing just a few at a time and being a piece of their journey of faith.

I pray that I would continue with “a long obedience in the same direction.” And I pray that you would also choose to stay in the game. And there will be times, when you least expect it, that God will give you a glimpse into the lives of those you came alongside, and your heart will smile.

For the kingdom.