As a leader of others, no doubt the conversation of God’s will for our lives will come up. Now in reality, there are two levels of God’s will that should be explored. First, is the will of God in general for all of our lives. God’s will is that I am a sacrificial husband/wife. God’s will is that I am a person of integrity. God’s will is that I love my neighbours. These are God’s will for all of us.

Then there is the more specific will of God for our lives, things that God has designed us to do individually. In this case, how do you discern the will of God for your life? Is God concerned with the minutia of every little detail or just the bigger life questions? How much are we simply called to make good decisions from the insight and wisdom we have acquired over the years from those we respect and from ongoing engagement with the bible and prayer? Could there often be multiple answers that are all good and God leaves it up to us to choose in the moment.

I had a friend in university who sought after God’s will for every decision in life. Should he go to the beach with friends on Saturday – he asked God for the answer. Should he buy a certain car – he asked God for the answer. Should he join intramural basketball or volleyball – he asked God for the answer.

In one sense I admired his desire to know God’s will for his life, on the other hand I questioned whether it really was that important to ask God to answer these questions – did God really care? Did it demonstrate greater faith in God, or less faith in God?

Personally, I do not seek God’s guidance in such a way. In one sense, I am seeking God always and making the best decisions as I think reasonable. I try to hold onto each decision loosely so that if God chooses to step in a change direction I am open to what that might be.

As you may be aware, I came upon such a life decision this past year. The elders of the church I work at asked me to take on the role of Interim Executive Pastor in December 2014 as they determined how they were going to fill the vacant position of Lead Pastor. I love the church I am at and have always tried to make myself available for whatever the leadership of the church asked of me, so I had no problem saying yes. However, his meant that Jan and I needed to put on hold some plans that we had made – we had been planning on moving to Lithuania in August 2015 so that I could begin a teaching role at a university in Klaipeda, Lithuania, a city on the Baltic Sea. We were okay with delaying things by a year.

However, once the elders had put together a search team in June 2015 to begin the process of hiring a new Lead Pastor, I was torn. Was I to put my name forward as a candidate? I had many people encouraging me to put my name forward and yet I was unsure. Was it better for me to stay, or was God’s will that I go to Lithuania? Both options seemed like good options. Both options I believed would use my gifts. There was no guarantee that the elders would choose me if I did apply for the position, and the teaching role was a guarantee, so why not simply go with the sure thing and avoid any disappointment?

Because of my uncertainty, I told the elders and the staff in the spring of 2015 that I would not be applying for the Executive Lead Pastor position. If I couldn’t be certain then I didn’t want to step into this journey. Thus began several months of ongoing wrestling. My journal is full of prayers and questioning. I bounced these ideas off of many trusted friends. The big question: what was God’s will for my life? Did it matter if I went to teach or applied to stay at North Park? Could I ever know for certain?

The journey was slow, and there was never a big aha moment that I can remember. I do remember leaving the final session of the Willow Creek Leadership Summit in August 2015. As I walked out of the auditorium I turned to a colleague and said, “I’m going to apply for the position at North Park,” and that was that. It wasn’t one of the talks we had heard over the two day event and it wasn’t one key conversation from the previous months, it was simply a continual seeking after God and being completely open to what he would want for me and Jan. In reality, the final decision seemed rather anti-climactic, it just seemed to be the right thing to do. I had no guarantees that the elders would select me for the role, and even if they didn’t I think I would have been okay with that.

So that’s my story of the past year. I’m not sure what you may be experiencing, where you are seeking God’s guidance. I have found that it is in the everyday connection, seeking him in all things, making the best decisions with the information that I have, and then holding onto everything loosely, allowing God to change course if he so desires. After all, he is God, I am not. His kingdom come, his will be done, on earth, and in my life, as it is in heaven.

As you lead others, may you be open and honest with the wrestling you do. And may you be able to guide those that you lead on this journey of discipleship as they work to understand God’s will for their lives.

For the kingdom.

 

If you have experienced being in and/or leading a triad of people on a journey of discipleship, you realize that, on most occasions, you and those that you meet with are growing in a way that I refer to as “an inch a day.” You meet regularly, you engage in scripture, you share about your lives, you pray, and you trust God that you will grow. Most weeks you are glad that you met. You have gotten to know the two you meet with a bit more, and you could say that you understand God in a deeper way. That’s all. Nothing grandiose, just steady growth – and that is good. That is how growth typically happens.

And then there are those moments of growth that go POP! When you leave your weekly connection and you realize that something amazing is happening. You want to bottle it up as it feels like things are clicking in new ways. And yet, getting to that experience can take many forms, and sometimes, what leads up to this is actually very painful.

Such has been the case recently with my guys. There have been some life struggles that have led to deep prayer and frustration. There have been questions about how God is, or is not, showing up. In the midst of this, there has been transparency and blunt conversations as we have challenged each other, in particular one individual. At times we wondered if we were crossing a boundary of trust, wondering if we pushed too hard, and would this damage our relationships. And yet, deep down, you know that you’ve been doing the hard work of friendship building, that you only have the other guy’s best interests at heart and believe that they feel the same about you.

And then it happens, the POP! You meet and engage in a conversation that opens the flood gates. You sense that the seemingly difficult conversations have not been for naught. That something beautiful is being birthed right before your eyes and you are truly thankful that you can be a part of it. You leave your meeting that week with a new bounce in your step, with renewed hope that this works. That if you stick with the process, and commit to the disciplines, and do the hard work of friendship building, then God shows up. Not how you were expecting him to, not when you were expecting him to, but he shows up. Growth is taking place, in all of you.

Have you ever experienced this? Have you had the privilege of walking “through the swamp” with someone, not knowing where the end was, and coming out the other side being “surprised by joy”? Or have you chosen to stay shallow, to not engage in the difficult conversations, to let someone off the hook, and to play it safe? Are you doing the hard work of relationship building?

I am choosing more and more to enter into these conversations. I don’t always do them perfectly, I am learning more each one I enter into. There is always fear at the start, but I am always so grateful that I took the risk.

For those that you meet with, what are you modelling? Are you allowing for the tough conversations? Are you building trust? You may have some swamps to walk through, and yet, to experience the POP – there is so much joy in that.

May this be your reality as you lead others. May our discipleship encompass all aspects of life, the good, the bad and the ugly – there is no other way.

For the kingdom.