Jesus was with his disciples celebrating the passover meal. As he was talking with them, Jesus declared that one of them would betray him. Of course this brought much confusion to them all. In Matthew, Judas asks “Am I the one?” In Luke the disciples ask each other, who is the one? Am I the one?

This question, “am I the one”, has been resonating with me the past few weeks. It has become quite profound for me to reflect on actually. Am I the one? Or, perhaps better, which one am I?

Throughout the Gospels, people were often asking this question about Jesus – Is he the one we’ve been waiting for? Some even wondered if John the Baptist was the one. Now John made it very clear that “the one” who was to come was so amazing that he wasn’t even worthy to untie his sandals. Yet Jesus clarified that John was “the one” who had been called to go before and prepare the way, the second Isaiah, and John lived that calling.

With respect to John, it is interesting to think about the time he was in prison and sent his disciples to Jesus to clarify if he was “the one” or should they look for someone else. After Jesus lists off all of the amazing things he did, he makes the crazy statement, “Blessed is the one who does not fall away on account of me.” What is interesting here is that Jesus, with all the good he had done for others, was not going to rescue John from prison, and John was going to be executed shortly after. Would John still choose to believe that Jesus was “the one” even if he didn’t come through as John would have liked?

Abraham was “the one” who asked to leave his home to a land he would be shown. Moses was asked to be “the one” to lead Israel out of Egypt. Jonah was asked to be “the one” to go to Nineveh, and he didn’t initially. And on and on we could go.

So I’ve been asking myself this question: which one am I? Am I the one to betray? Am I the one to deny? Am I the one who walks away because Jesus isn’t responding as I would like him to respond? Which one am I?

Am I the husband I am being called to be? Am I the father, the grandfather I am to be? Am I the neighbour, the friend, and church member? Am I the one?

And this question has been pushing me to think in the moment. Will I be “the one” this next hour as I attend this meeting and present? Will I be “the one” as I meet that person for discipleship and their growth in Christ? 

When I am treated poorly in a situation, which “one” will I choose to be? 

It is such a simple idea, yet it is having a profound impact on my thinking and my actions. 

Which one am I being in my life, on this day, for this hour, in this minute? Am I the one that God is calling me to be? For the sake of his Kingdom?

Which “one” are you?

For the Kingdom.

What did you think of your adolescent years? Wonderful? Painful? Perhaps too long ago to even have a real opinion? How about your own children? What was it like to guide them? Perhaps you are in the middle of it right now? Maybe as an uncle or aunt with nephews and nieces?

Adolescence is a time of transition, moving from once stage of life, working through what is in many ways an awkward stage, sometimes known as liminal space, and finally coming out on the other side. Hopefully fully intact with not too many scars.

In my travels, I have learned more about how some cultures continue to give great focus to this stage of life. They are very intentional in teaching and guiding to help boys become men and girls become women. They don’t assume that they can figure this out on their own. They also don’t allow boys to become men and girls to become women until it is time. They don’t let the lines blur. This is very different from my North American culture. In reality, it feels like boys and girls want to dress and act as though they have already transitioned and older people want to transition back and just play with no responsibilities or accountability. But let’s leave my opinion on that for now.

At my age (57), as I am privileged to be coming alongside my age mates to guide them through a process to determine what they may be called to do in the next season of their lives, I have discovered what the Hindu’s call our “second adolescence”. That just as important as it was for children to be guided through a process to move from childhood to adulthood, it may be just as important to guide adults into their second-half of life.

Arthur Brooks, in his best selling book “From Strength to Strength”, based on Psalm 84:7, talks about fluid and crystalized intelligence introduced in 1963 by Raymond Cattell. In essence, fluid intelligence peaks at 40 and then declines and it is our job then to choose to not fight the process of decline but to step onto the crystallized intelligence curve that can carry us into our 70s and beyond. Otherwise we will simply become frustrated with life, perhaps do stupid things to relive the “glory days” of our 20s and 30s, and miss out on the beauty of what could be even more impactful years. 

Robert Clinton, from Fuller Seminary, has done similar research and talks about our need to move from our “Preparation Years” and move to our “Contribution Years”, with this typically happening between ages 40 and 50ish. Unfortunately, as he suggests, the majority of people don’t make the shift and simply choose to coast out of life. And in the North American context, our wealth allows many to do just that – another vacation, another home renovation, another hobby to try, another dinner with friends – yet nothing intentional to live a life bigger than ourselves, leaning into the beauty of the Kingdom of God.

I’m not sure why this is the case? For sure our cultural narrative is to “live the good life”, so we have been discipled to do just that. Additionally, the thought of doing the work to pass through a time of liminality, not completely sure of what is next, can be daunting – we’re just too old to do this, we muse. It is easier to stay with what we know.

Yet as followers of Jesus, I don’t believe we have a choice. And in reality, choosing to move through a process that brings us through the transition to a new season, and finding the joy of God on the other side is nothing to take lightly. 

The key will be this – do I believe that leaning into a “second adolescence” is worth it? Is allowing the Spirit to guide me through it going to bring me joy that nothing else will bring? Can I trust God with this?

That’s a question you’ll need to decide to answer.

Yet for me, I want nothing more than to “follow the scent” as was articulated in Eugene Peterson’s biography, to wherever God leads. How about you?

For the kingdom