It’s not weird to have conversations about the generations in our house.

“How to we bridge the gap between generations?”

“How do we raise up the next generation?”

“How do we inspire seniors to not just retire to the golf course?”

These conversations frequently leave me feeling either energized and excited at all the possibilities of what could happen, or it can cause me to feel frustrated that there is still so much not happening. I guess it just all depends on where the conversation goes.

This week dad asked me as a millennial to speak to people 20+ years older than me. I don’t want to speak on behalf of my entire generation since I’m only one person and I know there are many perspectives out there, so I’ll share some stories from my life, but at the same time I’ll also share some ideas that I’ll generalize to my entire generation knowing that I’m not the only one who believes them.

And before you close the tab thinking that this is just another blog telling the ‘older’ generations that they’re failing, please keep reading.

I won’t deny the fact that older generations are failing the younger generations. But the younger generations are also failing. I guess that’s the result of living is a fallen world.

Now that we’ve got that cleared up, let me tell you a story that isn’t about failure.

There’s a lady at our church – in fact she’s on the elder board because she’s that cool – and a few years ago we were talking at church about adventure stuff (hiking, skiing, and the likes). I believe it was winter at the time since we started talking about cross country skiing.

“I’ve never cross country skied,” I said.

“What size are your feet?” she responded.

“Seven.”

“My daughter has a pair of boots the same size and she’s not using them. I’ll take you out.”

So we set a date and time. She picked me up at home, skies tucked in the trunk, and we drove off to the Fanshawe trails. Getting the skies on was tricky business, but eventually we were gliding our way through the snow – and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t fall. Multiple times.

Guess what happened the next winter? We went cross country skiing. And the year after that? Cross country skiing.

And then in the summer, we would go on walks along the Fanshawe trails. We’d just talk. She’d ask me questions about life. I’d ask questions about her life. (Refer back to “The Art of Questioning” blog). We just enjoyed each other’s company.

The time commitment (which was not formal or even voiced) was a few times a year, along with seeing each other at church. It was casual. It was fun. It was deep. It was simple. It was based on one conversation discovering a common interest.

She took the initiative, and I brought the willingness. For me, I loved being known and acknowledged by her.

God created us to want to know and to be known, and for the younger generations, there’s something special about being seen and known by people who have walked through life longer than us. Sure, we love our peers because there’s so much more to relate to (baby boomers, I know there are things you just cannot relate to in how millennials live life), but, from conversations I’ve had with other people around my age, it’s like we’re desperately thirsty for guidance. We want someone to listen to what we’re going through and say, “I’ve been there. I understand. Here’s how I dealt with it.” Or “Have you thought about this perspective instead?” Speaking for myself, I would much rather have a conversation about something I’m dealing with with someone who will challenge my thinking, than with a peer who will pat my back or put wood on the fire.

Here’s another story for you. I have another friend who’s exactly 20 years older than me, and even though she lives an hour and a half away, I’ll still visit her multiple times a year. For one, she’s just fun to be around, but also, she unknowingly spiritually pours into me. We don’t have a formal Bible study or sit down across the table from each other with an agenda and list of questions to go through – it’s all how she lives. She loves the Lord so much it oozes out in every conversation we have, and she also willingly lets me in on what she’s been thinking about. And when I share life things with her, she doesn’t hesitate to give a Biblical perspective or a word of prayer. Her passion for God is contagious, and I always leave her place with a brighter fire for Him as well.

I met this friend when she was a youth leader when I was in youth – she wasn’t even my leader, but we would chat each week. When we both left youth the year after, she would invite me over to her house to eat dinner with her family, I’d babysit her kids, eventually I went on a two week trip out east with her family – I felt part of the family. I kept going back (even now that they live further away) because, one, they’re an awesome family, but I’m also hungry to learn from her faith.

So to the generations older than me, it’s not complicated to journey life with the younger generation. It starts with a conversation, and acknowledging our existence. Sometimes millennials and gen. z-ers are intimidating to you (we’re quite aware of it, actually), and the statistics claim that we are a hopeless cause for humanity. But that label has unfortunately put distance between our generations.

We need you.

And you need us.

The first couple decades in this world are scary. Do I dare talk about the psychological and physiological changes that happen on the regular? It’s comforting to have someone who’s been through it to walk the journey with you, to support you, to challenge you, to tell you that you will make it.

Here’s an action step for those who are 20+ years older than me. Take your shaking knees and pounding heart across the room to a high school student/university student/young adult (you can even start with someone you know a bit) and acknowledge their existence by looking them in the eye and talking to them. Take an interest in their life, and if you don’t understand something about their lifestyle, don’t shut them down – keep talking. Then say, “Hey, I’d love to take you out for coffee and hear more of your story.” Or if you’re like the first friend I mentioned, go cross country skiing (we have snow in April, so it’s still possible). Another idea could be to invite them over for dinner with your family, and have them help you make dinner – it was always less intimidating for me when I was able to help with something rather than sit and watch.

It doesn’t have to be formal – though don’t be scared to take that step to commit the next few years of your life to disciple them. Just let us know that you’re on our side, and you want us to be the best version of ourselves, and eventually the initiative to meet won’t be all on you. I’ve been fortunate enough to have many people generations ahead of me committing to standing in my court, and it hurts me to think of my peers who don’t have it since it’s been so impactful in my life – and all it took was cross country skiing once or twice a year, and invitations to dinner.

 

“A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armour so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:10-12 (NLT)

This question to me from Madison comes from an experience I had recently that I shared with her.

A few months ago I woke up around 4:30 am. Now, this is not unusual, and typically I will fall asleep within 5 minutes. However, this time I could not fall asleep. And as I lay there, I heard: “Go and pray”. Now, I didn’t want to pray, I wanted to sleep. I could pray in the morning. And so I continued to try and sleep, and yet, repeatedly I heard: “Go and pray”.

And so I left the comfort of my bed, went to the basement, and for the next hour and a half I prayed. And prayer flowed so naturally during this time. I prayed for my family, our church, and situations in the country and around the world that came to mind. I just prayed out of obedience.

I’m not sure what the results were from my prayers, that’s not for me to know, my prompting was to pray.

So, what does this mean? What are my thoughts in this sphere? I do enjoy praying. I pray with a number of groups throughout the week, when I walk to work I pray and in my journal I often am led to pray and so I write them out. During our weekend services we invite people to come forward for prayer which I can only describe as a sacred moment. Yet this middle of the night prompting was new for me, and interestingly it has happened a few times since then.

What does it mean to battle against “evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world?”

There are different experiences that I have seen Christians have regarding this. Some will lean to living life as though the “unseen powers” really don’t exist and have little influence on our lives, they seem afraid to even talk about it. On the other extreme, I have engaged with people who are actively looking for “unseen powers”, finding evil in the most interesting locations – one person even shared with me that as he walked into our church he saw Satan as a large grasshopper sitting in our sanctuary, it was so powerful that he couldn’t even enter for the service (he has since left the church claiming that we no longer are following God).

How do I know when it is God speaking, when I am battling “unseen powers” or when it was simply me making stupid decisions and am suffering the consequences?

I recently experienced a trying time when I received several very negative emails about my leadership and ability to properly teach scripture, that I was incapable of being a Lead Pastor. When you receive this type of feedback, it doesn’t matter sometimes that other people are encouraging you, it can take your legs out from under you.

As I wrestled with this, and even invited these people into a conversation (which they avoided – another blog perhaps), I asked God to speak to me, I needed to know what the truth was. And then, over the next several weeks, I received a number of positive comments about my leadership from people in the church, more than typical. These were encouraging for sure. But was this God, or was I simply looking for whatever I could get to feel validated?

And then, I received a phone call from someone that I haven’t spoken with for a long time and who would have had no idea that this was taking place; they live in another province. They had been in prayer, and God gave them a vision that included me standing in our church sanctuary and there was a deep sense of conflict and negativity. As this person pondered the vision, they told me that they felt God wanted to tell me that he was pleased with me and that he was aware of my situation, but to press on. Any negativity or pressure that was around me was not of God.

As we finished the call, this person said that they had no idea if these comments made any sense to me, they were simply being obedient to share what they had heard.

How do we live with a full awareness of evil forces in the “heavenly realm” that have a direct influence on our lives while at the same time there are angelic forces that are counteracting these evil forces? What role are we to play in counteracting the evil forces? What does it take for us to be fully present in the physical realm while at the same time fully aware of the heavenly realm?

I don’t have a simple three-point answer to these ponderings. I am fully aware of and accept the heavenly battle that is taking place. I seek God continually, asking him to reveal to me what I need to know for what he has called me to do for his kingdom. I am hearing him prompt me to pray in new ways, even calling me to fast for days before significant services at our church such as Christmas and Easter. Part of me would like to actually see what is taking place in the heavenly realm, and yet, even in scripture, the curtain is only pulled back a few times. And perhaps it is best that I can’t see it all, it might even confuse me.

My call is obedience. God will speak when he chooses to speak. He will reveal what he chooses to reveal. I will do my best to be faithful.

For the kingdom.