Madison’s Question to Matthew: How has going through a 360 Degree personal review impacted you?

I recently embraced a 360-degree personal review. This came about as a result of a coaching conversation and some things I was processing regarding my leadership of the team that I lead. I was seeking to understand how my engagement was and was not working in some specific circumstances. And since I have been through a 360 review in the past on two separate occasions, I felt that it would be a good process to go through to give me some clarity.

First, it would be good to describe the process to give you context for this review.

The process involved having 20 people provide feedback in a number of categories: spiritual practices, personal leadership, leadership of others, visioning and facilitating change, organizational alignment and health, and finally emotional-social response – and in each category there were 5 questions to respond to. Among these 20 people were four elders of our church, four people who report to me, 6 other staff members and 6 key people who regularly engage with me in various areas of my leadership. As you can determine, the perspectives were varied and robust. These people not only gave me a rating on a scale of 1-10, but under each category they were asked to provide comments, describing 1-2 of my strengths and providing 1-2 things to help me improve and mature in this area.

I can say that the comments are the most meaningful in the process since they give context to the number ratings people are giving me.

I read through the report on three separate occasions and had 2 one hour coaching conversations to ensure that I was understanding what was said and how I can move forward to improve my leadership practices and mindset.

Further context is important – as mentioned I have completed a 360 review on two other occasions, and I can say that this third version was the most helpful in that I was better able to absorb the comments as they were intended. I can still recall the first time I received a review 10 years ago. I was unsure as to how I was to receive the straightforward feedback. It took me 2 days to regain my inner composure and come to the realization that what I had received was actually a gift. I now knew how people perceived me and I could move forward to truly make changes to my life. Without the review I would never know because, for the most part, we don’t know how to be honest with each other about how our words and actions are interpreted.

With this current review I was able to receive it for what it is – honest feedback about my leadership. I was able to embrace the positive things that people wanted me to hear (and there were some amazing things said that I wasn’t fully aware of), and I was able to hear about the areas where I am missing the mark, where my words and actions are not allowing people to thrive.

Over the past few weeks, as people have asked me about the journey, the one thing that I have been able to describe the process as is that it has enhanced my peripheral vision.

I am who I am. My personality is what it is. My passions and interests are consistent and the framework in which I see people and the world around me is fairly stable. I am who I am and you are who you are.

And yet, in this, I still must ensure that I am working to see the world from other people’s eyes. That I must reaffirm and recognize that my methods to move something forward are not the only methods, and that in fact, my ways may work for some, but will completely frustrate others.

This 360 once again helped me to see more broadly. It moved my narrow way of seeing and interpreting things (yes, we are all narrow in our thinking, we just don’t admit it that readily), and widened my view, my peripheral vision if you will.

It reminded me again of a few themes in my way of engagement that continue to be an encouragement and a frustration to those around me.

First, my pace of life and implementation of change – as much as people are excited about the changes that we have been able to embrace for the sake of the church, the pace at which we introduce them, the way we bring people along, the means of communicating these changes and ensuring the processes and structures are in place for longevity continue to be areas that I must lean into.

Second, the way I give feedback. From a positive perspective, I do give feedback and people appreciate knowing where I stand. Yet, the way I provide it, the time I provide it and my curiosity to first understand the individual’s perspective and life circumstance have been lacking a times. My words can cut and maim people – unintended on my part, yet I am not fully aware.

There are other aspects that I could expound on and I will continue to ponder my learning. In this, however, my desire is that we all find ways to both receive and give feedback. That we don’t shy away from the realities of who we are and who we are being called to become. As followers of Jesus, we should be leading the way in this, it is a key aspect of our discipleship. May this be our reality.

For the kingdom.

Matthew’s Question to Madison: What are you learning about giving feedback to people?

I give really great feedback.

In my head.

Or maybe that’s just criticism?

Hmm.

But seriously.

Depending on the context, feedback and I could simply be acquaintances, but in other areas we’re best buds. For example, when it comes to church events and kid’s programs, I will freely, openly, honestly, and graciously provide feedback since those are contexts that I know well. I trust my experiences and gained knowledge which allow me to confidently express my thoughts.

On the other side, when it comes to character feedback, I’m often more hesitant. Maybe it’s because there are so many factors that contribute to one’s behaviour that I don’t want to jump to conclusions; or maybe it’s because I know that I have flaws and don’t want to hypocritically approach someone about theirs.

Yet I know that I value other people’s feedback in my life, whether work or character related, that I realize its importance in our lives.

From having positive feedback given to me, and learning how to provide feedback to others, here are a few things I’ve learned / am learning:

1. Be specific.

For a while, I thought giving feedback from an airplane’s view was helpful and compassionate, expecting the receiver to see the tiny moving target thousands of feet below them. Why they didn’t carry binoculars, I’ll never know! Now I’ve realized that landing the plane is best. When I need to give feedback to someone, I’m sure to tell them about the specific thing that I’ve noticed could be improved, and give them a new direction to aim.

2) Be immediate.

This one has been a huge learning for me lately, and my dad has pushed me in this – and modelled it well. I’ve always been hesitant to give honest feedback (except with those closest to me!) because I want to process every angle of the situation in case I missed a critical viewpoint. By the time my analysis finishes, it’s typically too late to even approach the topic. And that only leaves me frustrated. I’m learning that when there’s an area where I need to say something, there are ways to respectfully give feedback while also giving space for them to fill in the gaps that I’m may not have been aware of. This allows open and honest communication right from the start.

3) Focus on your perception of the behaviour, not the identity.

If someone walked into my office and started pointing fingers at me and claiming I needed to improve, I would internalize the belief that that person was attacking my core identity. That wouldn’t be healthy or helpful for me – or anybody who receives feedback that way. Instead, it’s best to start with “I noticed” or “I felt” since no one can argue your perspective on the situation. And if it remains specific, the receiver can more easily enter into a posture of improvement rather than believing they are useless.

4) When unsure, use wise counsel

I have had many interesting friendship moments where I’ve gone to my parents or mentors to ask for advice as to how to approach a certain conversation. At work, I often use a co-worker to bounce thoughts off of as to what to say and how to say something to someone. Wise counsel is … well … wise. They bring different experiences and perspectives that can help round out the picture, as well as help phrase things respectfully and clearly.

I will say writing these points was as much a reminder for me as I continue to learn the art form of giving feedback. When I’m in doubt, I will now just start with asking questions to probe deeper and see if what I’m seeing is actually something to address or not. I had a moment a few weeks ago where I was concerned with a friend’s relationship choice. There were factors I wasn’t aware of for sure, but I also couldn’t leave the wrestling inside me, so I simply started asking her questions and probing deeper to see if my concerns were legitimate. Through our conversation, I discovered that some of my concerns were right, but others were not, so I could back down on those thoughts.

This is an area of leadership that only gets easier with experience, so as I keep encountering situations where feedback is required, I will keep diving in and seeing what more I can learn.