Matthew’s Question to Madison: What do you want people to know about being an extravert?

Funny story – we thought I was an introvert for the first 17 years of my life. What a joke! (Some days I don’t think I’m even close to the introverted line) We discovered this when my parents went away for a week and I was home alone – when they got back, it was honestly like a breath of fresh air. It’s not that I wasn’t around people during the week, but it wasn’t enough – I wasn’t being with people when I got home. Let’s just say, the cat and I chatted a lot more than normal!

I’m sure every introvert reading this is already feeling drained.

When we thought I was an introvert, thinking back, I realized that I was always tired. But every extravert knows that when they’re not with people, their tank begins to empty – that’s what was happening with me. Now knowing the truth about how my body functions, I’m learning to distinguish between being actually tired, and being tired because I’m by myself and need to find something to do with someone.

As I was preparing for this blog, I looked up characteristics of an extravert, and came across some myths of what people believe extraverts to be. Here are some examples:

• Not all extraverts are chatterboxes – there are some introverts who talk more than I do!
• Not all extraverts want to talk about their feelings
• Extraverts are not always confident, bubbly people
• Extraverts are not always happy – they can easily slip into, what I call, “extraverted depression”
• Extraverts also need alone time
• Not all extraverts make friends easily

I relate to Every. Single. One. of those points – I am not always a chatterbox (I often do my best processing internally); I don’t like talking about my feelings; I am most definitely not always confident; I know firsthand about ‘extraverted depression’; I do need alone time; and I have always struggled with having close friendships.

Any other extraverts with me?

I think the one that surprises most people, including many extraverts, is that we also need alone time. I find my cravings for alone time are when I need to get personal things done – cooking, cleaning, errands, etc. Give me some music, maybe a car ride, and I’m good to go. For another extravert out there, it might be a different scenario, but at some point, we all need a temporary break from all the stimulation in the world to just be with our own thoughts.

But in true extravert fashion, let me tell you, my favourite days at work are when I spend the whole day going from conversation to conversation with no moment to actually sit at my desk. I also love when people interrupt me in my office – an excuse to chat. I know other extraverts who put bowls of candy in their office just so people will stop by to grab a treat and say hi. If my desk wasn’t near the common area in our office, I would be doing the same thing – or, let’s be real, I’d still be the one bouncing around the building. Truth – I value efficiency, but sometimes I become inefficient and print things in small batches just so there are more times for me to get up and walk down the hall past all the offices. Extraversion is a real thing, people!

Self-awareness, beyond knowing about extraversion and introversion, has been immensely beneficial in my life. I’m able to understand why I function the way I do, and [attempt] to break free from habits and behaviours that are oh-so-not helpful. I’m also able to recognize quickly what I need in certain situations, and why I need whatever it is I need.

That knowledge has not only been helpful personally, but also spiritually. We each relate to God differently, and God relates to each of us in a unique way – He did design each of us after all. As an extravert, to stay on that vein, I know that I relate best to Him in corporate worship settings, mentoring relationships, and moments of service. I love finding the ways that God moves in the world, where as someone else loves discovering God through quiet prayer and study. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the study (note my last blog), but it is not first on ‘the list of ways to connect with God’; and prayer happens more naturally for me in the car while on the go.

Just because my ways of connecting with God, and my behaviour as an extravert naturally pull me in a certain direction, I know that I cannot limit myself to that box. Journaling, quiet walks, and long prayer times do not hinder my life, rather they enhance it – but only when I make space for it.

On the contrary, I also know that for me to feel fully alive, I need to intentionally be in spaces that fit my best self. For example, I’m writing this blog at Starbucks because, you guessed it, there are people moving and chatting all around me. The space allows me to focus on the independent work, while simultaneously filling my tank. And when I leave here, I will not feel drained, which allows me to be the best version of me to those that I will interact with throughout the rest of the day.

Madison’s question to Matthew: What is the importance of sharing testimonies? How did you process yours?

As I think about it, the embracing of “testimonies” is a unique thing to the Protestant faith. Sure, testimony is given at a trial in court, yet in most cases, you wouldn’t use the term in conversation with a friend or random person – it is a Protestant thing.

I took part in a Catholic studies class a few months ago as a Protestant representative – they were engaging in an understanding of the various Christian streams. To begin my time, I simply shared my testimony, letting them know that I would use the common terms that I would typically hear when a Protestant shares their testimony. This would give them an understanding of my tradition and allow them to ask questions about terms and ideas that I shared in my testimony that they may be unfamiliar with. I’ll never forget one student’s question: “Does everyone in your church have a testimony?” Of all the questions I was expecting, this was not one of them.

So, does everyone have a testimony? Do you have a testimony? How would you articulate it?

“Evidence or proof provided by the existence or appearance of something.”

“A public recounting of a religious conversion or experience.”

“A solemn declaration.”

We all have a story. It is unique to us. “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages. At first, the infant, mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.” Shakespeare “As You Like It” Act 2 Scene 7

So why do we, as Protestants, insist on sharing testimonies? What is it about them the helps to shape us as followers of Jesus? Why should I be interested in your story? Why should you care about my story?

First of all, I would suggest that the bible models this idea for us. How often do we read in the Psalms or the Prophets the term “Remember”. Remember what God has done. Remember how he found you and picked you up. When you children ask, remember to tell them…

Our stories, our testimonies, are part of our remembering. They help us to not forget, and we can be encouraged as others remember what God has done in their lives.

As a community we are stronger as we hear each other’s stories of faith. In the times before electricity and gadgets (or so I’m told), families and communities would gather to hear stories. Stories of the past, to remind each other about life. The stories held them together, made them a community. In the same way, our testimonies hold us together with our common focus on Christ.

And, they stretch us. I can’t tell you how many times my faith and understanding of God has grown as I hear how someone else has experienced God. Sometimes it has caused me to tilt my head and wonder if this can really be true, and yet I can’t argue with someone’s testimony, it is their story, their reality. Stories of God appearing in dreams, speaking through audible prompts and causing people to do things that seem to not make sense in the moment, and yet reveals itself to be right after the fact. As I pull together the many testimonies I have heard over the years, my understanding of the character of God and how he chooses to interact has grown in some amazing ways for which I am grateful.

So, how have I processed my testimony? First of all, let me start my saying that I love my testimony. I probably couldn’t always have said that but I can now. I love it because it is mine. God has intersected my life in a way unique to me, he has shown his love to me in a way that I can relate to it based on my personality. You can probably infer from this that I am saddened when Christians say that they don’t have a “very good testimony.” For me, the love of Christ is so compelling that anyone who believes in him should be overjoyed with whatever their testimony sounds like, because none of us deserves his love – Grace!

And so, as I ponder and share my testimony, I have simply looked to those moments in life where God has met me in distinct ways that have moved me to new levels of understanding and commitment to follow him.

Praying a prayer of salvation at age 8 at Camp Crossroads. Being baptized in grade 9 (and sharing my testimony before all the adults at church!) Choosing to step away from friendships in grade 11 that were distracting me from faith. Engaging with a mentor in university to guide my faith and learning to embrace spiritual practices as a discipline rather than when I simply felt like it. Electing to mentor/disciple other guys who were younger to help them deepen their faith which in turn has deepened mine. Stepping away from a banking career as I heard the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Choosing to become a pastor even though it wasn’t my career path of choice. Electing to embrace a Lead Pastor role even though I felt inadequate to do it well.

The more I learn about God and his character and the way he engages with creation, the more I realize I don’t know God that well, and so the more I lean into what God would have for me to comprehend, which in turn causes me to work harder at listening to the Spirit’s promptings. The bigger God get’s in my understanding of his complexities, to more I simply rest in the fact that “he’s got this.” It is not for me to control, it is simply for me to follow and say yes. Whether he has decades more for me to do, or if my piece will end soon. I’m good with God. And because of Jesus, God is good with me. And that is my testimony to date.

So what is your testimony? And who have you shared it with recently?

For the kingdom.