Madison’s Question to Matthew: Talk about self-care. What does that mean for you as a go-go-go person, and in your role where your job could literally never stop? What is the importance of it? Advise people who think self-care is just an excuse not to do something.

If this isn’t the question for the ages I don’t know what is. A topic that perhaps people may ponder more as they age than when they are younger. Something that people definitely ponder if they experience burnout or some aspect of mental health decline.

And yet, why should it take issues or a drop in energy to step into the life-giving rhythms of self-care? What would cause someone to move forward in life at an unsustainable pace? I know that I take our car in regularly for an oil change and other ongoing maintenance as I want to get the most out of it – cars cost too much as it is. I see the dentist regularly as well as get a physical from my doctor annually for my physical health.

However, when I think about self-care, I generally think of things a bit more nebulous to grasp. It is more the care for your soul, your heart, the inner self that, if not cared for, will in turn impact every aspect of life – relational, physical, mental and spiritual. It’s the kind of care that won’t necessarily lead to any immediate outcomes, and yet, if neglected over time, will lead to an outcome that is never pretty.

I must admit that I have been quite typical in this area of life. In my 20’s and 30’s, and even into my 40’s, I felt like I was infallible. I had, and still have, a lot of energy. I would live on 5-6 hours of sleep each day. I worked full-time in a paid job, and then engaged in many hours of volunteering, mostly at my church. When I became a pastor at the age of 38, I continued to work my full-time hours at the church, meet with guys in a mentoring capacity outside of work hours, volunteer with non-profits in the city, and I even completed a Masters in Theological Studies and a Doctor of Ministry degree, all the while trying to be the husband and father that my family needed and wanted. People would comment on my pace of life, and yet I knew nothing else, and for the most part enjoyed what I was doing so why change – it wasn’t a fast pace from what I could see. And I wasn’t going strong to impress anyone or meet an unfulfilled need as far as I could tell, I just lived as I thought I should, and could, and wanted to.

Interestingly, in the midst of all of this, I was and continue to be someone who reflects. It comes out of my ongoing discipline of journaling that I embraced as a habit back in university through reading the book “Ordering Your Private World”. As I journal, I typically reflect on the previous day and at times the previous weeks and months. I am also an honest reflector. If I am experiencing stress, I attempt to write out the reasons why I believe I am experiencing this. If I am sad, if I am angry, if I am experiencing greater joy than normal, I try to reflect on this to understand the underlying reasons.

Through this reflection and some self-imposed (and slightly accidental) times of removing myself from the mainstream of life in the past number of years, what I have discovered is that my brain needs rest. My brain needs down time. My brain needs to reset and the only way that this can happen is through non-focused times, through stepping away, through literal boredom. Now, for someone who is on the go, both physically and mentally, this has been revelatory (for some reading this post this is not revelatory at all, and I have since read much on this, however, we are all on a journey).

In reality, I have engaged in many aspects of what I think of as self-care. This has included spiritual formation rhythms (journaling in particular I find is great for self-care as you can fix what you don’t admit to), engaging in groups where I am accountable, having mentors build into my life, seeking forgiveness when I wrong someone and forgiving others who “trespass against me”. These are all good for the soul and keep you balanced.

And yet, as I have engaged in the act of boredom, I have been pleasantly surprised at the amazing impact that this has had on my very soul.

And as I have engaged with boredom, I have begun to see the scriptures that speak to this in ways that I was never able to fully grasp before. The rhythms of life that God put in place for the Israelite nation are mind-blowing if you read them for what they were. Sure, we talk about rest every seven days (which most of us really never experience), and yet God also had festivals that they were of enjoy, week long festivals – leave your everyday life for an entire week and just hang out. Additionally, every seven years they were to leave the land fallow, to do no work for a year and simply trust that God would provide with whatever the land produced – a year of boredom if you will. (The Israelites never did embrace this one so God eventually sent them into exile for 70 years to make up for the missed years of Sabbath rest.)

I don’t fully get this self-care thing right all the time. I continue to have seasons that I push through far more hours of work than is probably beneficial long term. And yet I am establishing new rhythms.

For the past few years Jan and I have gotten away to a cottage in the cold of January. What do we do? Not much. We sleep every afternoon. We read books. We go for walks. We make a puzzle. We get bored. And it’s all good.

Saturday mornings for me have become more of a time to simply be. To have no to-do lists. To go for a long walk, a bike ride. No responsibilities.

I have learned to trust the long-term benefits of this way of life. I won’t get immediate results from a week of nothingness. And yet, I believe the research, I believe the scriptural mandate, and I am seeing the longer term benefits the more I embrace this. It something that I want to continue to lean into.

May these thoughts cause you to ponder the rhythms of your life. And may you make the important decisions to embrace the cadence of self-care.

For the kingdom.

Matthew’s Question to Madison: Since you’re taking a Worship and Liturgy course, tell us what you’re learning about, specifically, corporate worship.

Of all the questions I could be answering for this week’s blog, this would be on the upper end of being the hardest. I’m five weeks into a Worship and Liturgy course, and I feel like my entire perspective is being challenged and transformed. Which is an amazing journey to be going through right now – but my thoughts are so jumbled and not clear yet, that writing out the things I’ve been learning and thinking about is rather difficult at this point.

So bear with me as I write out general thoughts that I hope are semi-coherent.

First off, I didn’t realize how deeply rooted the idea that worship was only music was in my mind. My generation seems to be very (emotionally) musically driven, so maybe that’s why. Or perhaps it’s because from the stage during a church service we “stand for worship” as the band begins the next “worship song”.

But preaching, communion, confession, thanksgiving, and prayer are all worship elements in a corporate worship gathering.

I’ll be honest, before I entered the course last month, I was at a place where going to church was a checklist item. Since I work at the same place I call ‘church’, I’m in the building a lot, and when Saturday evening rolled around, I wanted different scenery. Human desires, eh.

And prior to that, corporate worship was more of a reset button – realign my mind and heart with Christ since, as many of us have probably experienced, it starts to stray once we leave the building. And there’s nothing wrong with it being a reset button. We absolutely do need to renew our minds and center our hearts on our Creator, and corporate worship is one of the great places for that.

But, wow, it’s so much more than that.

The course is, in the simplest explanation, broken down into two components – how we worship, and who we worship.

My structured brain really appreciates the ‘how’ – lay out for me what to do and convince me of why, and I will gladly go do it. But the substance of the structure of worship experience can only come from the ‘who’.

Everything involved in the corporate worship service involves an invitation from God. God invites me into connecting with Him through the lyrics sung out; God invites me into hearing His Word so that I can understand Him, and be better equipped as a disciple; God invites me into a time of communion to remember what He’s done on the cross, and what that reveals about who He is.

It all starts with God’s initiative – and my job to respond.

William Dyrness, the author of “A Primer on Christian Worship”, writes that “God took the initiative to restore the relationship with humanity when this had been broken from the human side. So the beginning of worship is not some human need but God’s invitation.”

The story of God is a beautiful story that is still going on today. Through worship, we remember what He’s done in the past, what He’s doing in the present, and what we can anticipate for the future. My individualistic mind was convinced that a Sunday worship service was all about me, but entering into corporate worship is a reminder that we are the body of Christ, and we’re part of the grand story that we read about in Scripture. That’s mind boggling to me – I’m part of the story of Scripture! All throughout Scripture, God is inviting His people into His grand narrative, so if we’re also part of the story, we’re also being invited by the Creator of the world.

Think of a birthday party invitation or a wedding invitation. They expect a response. Just as God invites us into worship, a response is expected.

Dyrness writes, “The activities that make up what we call worship constitute some of the highest pursuits of which human beings are capable. And they involve participants totally, with the whole of their bodies and their minds, their wills and their emotions. The space of the church that we call worship in not inert or abstract. It is charged with the presence of God. Therefore, people who come into this experience cannot remain passive or indifferent.”

Yet how do I still remain passive and indifferent? How do I enter into a place that is ‘charged with the presence of God’ and not have any response?

I often get distracted, or forget the grand narrative and slowly worship becomes a checklist item – or even removed from the checklist all together. I get sad at the thought that I’m like the Israelites who were freed from slavery, and then become apathetic toward the One who did the freeing. When I read their story, I shake my fist at them, saying “how could you?”

Yeah, Madi, how could you?

I’m so thankful for a faithful God who is persistent and forgiving. I’m thankful for Jesus who made a new covenant with us through His blood on the cross. I’m thankful for the Holy Spirit who lives in me, and bridges the gap so I can be in God’s presence.

And it’s not just me. It’s the entire body of believers. We have the incredible opportunity of communing together with one mind and one voice and one heart to worship the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.

Now, as I enter into a worship service, I remind myself of why we’re worshipping, the power of worshipping together, and most importantly, who we worship.