Madison’s question to Matthew: Talk about risk. What have you learned? How do you manage it? When do you know how much to take?

“Your vision must be greater than the pain you expect to experience.” This statement was made to me over dinner at East Side Mario’s in the spring of 2015 from a mentor. At the time I was pondering a decision for my life that involved risk – risk for me, for my family, and for our church frankly. And as I talked it through, she made this statement that has stuck with me. I knew that the risk would involve mental and spiritual and leadership stretching – to put it bluntly, pain and risk. Did I believe that the pain would be worth the vision that I believed God was setting before me?

For me, as a follower of Jesus, risk and faith go hand in hand. When I am thinking about risk as it pertains to this post, I want to simply talk to the realm of risk for the sake of God’s Kingdom. Yes, I could talk about risking financially to buy a rental property, or take a risk in a relationship by having a difficult conversation. However those risks are minor in my thinking as I compare believing in faith to take a risk that I believe God has called me to take.

Scripture is full of people that took risks. God sent them on a mission and they had to simply believe that he was going to be there to guide them. How many prophets were asked to risk their lives to share a message, and in fact many were threatened because of it. We love the stories in the bible and we get excited, but in reality we are hearing the stories with the end in full view. We love the stories of our heroes, those that risked it all and came out on top. Yet in reality, many have risked it all and did not come out on top – we just don’t tell those stories.

And I need to be honest, when I take risks that I believe God is calling me to take, I am assuming or hoping at least that the outcome will always be positive, in my lifetime, if not within a few months at the most.

When thinking about risk, I am always brought back to the story of my grandfather, my father’s father. While in the Ukraine, where my father was born, he was asked to officiate at a funeral, and perform it in a Christian way. As a result of this risk, he was arrested and sentenced to 5 years in a labour camp – he never made it but died on the way; he was in his mid 30s, and my father was only 1. For the next 12 years my grandmother had to struggle to raise her four children until they was able to get to Germany during WW2 and eventually to Canada.

So when I think about all of the bible stories of people being called to risk it all, the disciples commitment to follow Jesus, and then about my grandfather who lost his life because he chose to risk it all for the sake of Jesus, how am I to ponder and approach risk?

As Lead Pastor of a fairly large church, I believe that a key aspect of my role is to be always looking 1-2 years out, to determine where we are called to risk next. Sometimes the risk is to eliminate a ministry or change focus. This can cause great consternation among some who believe that this is not the right decision. I have had to read many emails of complaint and sit in my office talking with people who were not impressed with these decisions. To maintain confidence in a decision during these times of disruption can be painful – was the risk worth it?

Other times we need to enter new ministry territory – it can be costly financially, it may stretch our people resources, and we may not have a clear road map to get there, and yet, as a leadership team, we believe that we are called to enter into this new territory. And, as the Lead Pastor, it is often up to me to carry a large portion of the risk on behalf of the church as much as we are called to do it together. Is the vision greater than the pain I expect to experience?

So how do I manage risk? I believe I do it best when I don’t lose focus on who I am serving. This may sound very cliche, yet this is the truth. When I veer off into a phase to get acceptance from as many people as possible, I can quickly move into validation mode and lay awake at night trying to keep the peace. If, however, I maintain a focus on the fact that God loves me no matter what, and that I truly believe that I am doing what he has called me to do, then I can move into these circumstances with a bounce in my step and patience to answer any questions and embrace confrontation with confidence.

As a leader it is my role to lead people into new areas of risk. If I am ever looking to get to a season of maintenance, that is when I need to be worried. The Kingdom of God is advancing with our without me. It is my role as a leader to be listening to the Holy Spirit and embracing the piece of the kingdom that I have been called to lead into; risk is simply part of the territory that I must accept.

For the Kingdom.

Matthew’s Question to Madison: You have mentioned a desire to be mentored. Describe that person as best you can, and how you believe that relationship could go? What topics would you like to engage with them?

Mentorship is one of those topics that the majority of people would agree is a valuable thing – and many have experienced the fruit of ‘having a mentor’. If you Google ‘mentoring’, you’ll discover lots of articles about the importance of it, and some stats indicating the positive outcomes of it.

“Mentoring creates meaningful connections that can positively impact the lives of both mentor and mentee. Those who receive mentorship are more likely to see improved academic, social, and economic prospects. Those who mentor are able to further build important leadership, management, and creative skills, while giving back to their community” (MENTOR: The National Mentoring Partnership)

Mentoring is a beautiful thing. It’s relationship building and accountability led by someone with a certain skill or more life experience. It’s the sharing of passions and learnings, and both parties grow in significant ways.

Discipleship takes mentorship one step deeper and includes the spiritual component. The purpose is to grow together to become more and more like Jesus through Scripture studies and prayer, while implementing the learnings in all areas of life.

For myself, I have a handful of people that I would consider ‘mentors’ in an informal way; and I have another handful of friendships that are rooted with the same purpose as discipleship that is also in an informal environment. And I love that!

Yet, I’ve always wanted someone that would disciple me in a more formal, structured way.

“So go get one,” you may be saying to the screen.

I have unfortunately found it to be more difficult than I would have expected it to be. Many are fearful of stepping into a ‘discipler’ role, believing they don’t have it all figured out. Others have never been mentored themselves so it becomes a foreign concept to them.

And I do admit that I do have expectations for that relationship which limit the pool of people I’d ask.

Let me express with you what I dream of for a discipling relationship, and maybe that will spur on some understanding of what it could look like – and maybe dispel the fear and hesitation some may have with the idea of being discipled or being the discipler.

1) Active Presence

It’s one thing to talk life, and a whole other thing to do life. I’ve been a youth leader for the past eight years, and my co-leaders and I discovered that our relationships with our girls took on a whole new level when we entered into their lives – watched sports games, attended graduations, took them out for lunch during the school day.

I desire the same thing. It’s harder to have to explain a situation to someone that they’ve never seen for themselves, but if they’ve seen it with their own eyes, there’s an emotional and intellectual understanding that doesn’t have to be explained.

2) Models a Faith-filled Life

Conversations about faith can be much more natural with someone who’s actively living it out on a daily basis. What are you reading in Scripture? What situations did you encounter that you caught yourself applying Christ-like characteristics? Where did you see God move? How has God answered a prayer?

I never want my spiritual life to become stagnant. But reflecting on the times it has, I notice that in those moments I was starved of faith-filled conversations with others that led to accountability, new thoughts and ideas, and positive emotional kindling.

3) Speaks Truth

I’m someone who would rather you say to me, “Hey, that was a prideful comment”. I’m a deeply sinful human who wishes with everything she’s got that she could attain perfection. But alas, that will never happen on this side of heaven. For me, having someone call me on a sin is helpful to keep me in check, confess my sins, receive forgiveness, and learn for the next time.

These are comments though that not just anyone could make to me. You need to know my heart and understand my inner workings. “Truth in love” can only come when ‘love’ has been established and received through things like encouragement and an emotional connection. These are all natural results of a discipleship relationships.

4) Common Passions

For myself, I have a heart for the next generation and for at-risk kids and youth. I’ve found that conversations with those who share that same passion and mission focus are natural and life-giving. In a discipleship relationship, I need someone who ‘gets it’ in order to integrate faith into the real life situations I encounter.

Common interests and passions also increase chemistry in the relationship. It allows you to talk about a variety of topics, and maintain interest in one another’s lives. (Might sound odd to say, but truthfully there are some topics I can only handle for so long).

So there you have it – four things that I desire in a discipleship relationship.

Ultimately, someone has to take the initiative to start the relationship – if you’ve been waiting for a nudge to go ask someone, consider this the nudge. Trust that the Holy Spirit has put a name on your heart for a reason.

I personally have also been needing a nudge, so we can go ask together.