Leading and Learning

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Amazing Moments of POP!

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fireworks3If you have experienced being in and/or leading a triad of people on a journey of discipleship, you realize that, on most occasions, you and those that you meet with are growing in a way that I refer to as “an inch a day.” You meet regularly, you engage in scripture, you share about your lives, you pray, and you trust God that you will grow. Most weeks you are glad that you met. You have gotten to know the two you meet with a bit more, and you could say that you understand God in a deeper way. That’s all. Nothing grandiose, just steady growth – and that is good. That is how growth typically happens.

And then there are those moments of growth that go POP! When you leave your weekly connection and you realize that something amazing is happening. You want to bottle it up as it feels like things are clicking in new ways. And yet, getting to that experience can take many forms, and sometimes, what leads up to this is actually very painful.

Such has been the case recently with my guys. There have been some life struggles that have led to deep prayer and frustration. There have been questions about how God is, or is not, showing up. In the midst of this, there has been transparency and blunt conversations as we have challenged each other, in particular one individual. At times we wondered if we were crossing a boundary of trust, wondering if we pushed too hard, and would this damage our relationships. And yet, deep down, you know that you’ve been doing the hard work of friendship building, that you only have the other guy’s best interests at heart and believe that they feel the same about you.

And then it happens, the POP! You meet and engage in a conversation that opens the flood gates. You sense that the seemingly difficult conversations have not been for naught. That something beautiful is being birthed right before your eyes and you are truly thankful that you can be a part of it. You leave your meeting that week with a new bounce in your step, with renewed hope that this works. That if you stick with the process, and commit to the disciplines, and do the hard work of friendship building, then God shows up. Not how you were expecting him to, not when you were expecting him to, but he shows up. Growth is taking place, in all of you.

Have you ever experienced this? Have you had the privilege of walking “through the swamp” with someone, not knowing where the end was, and coming out the other side being “surprised by joy”? Or have you chosen to stay shallow, to not engage in the difficult conversations, to let someone off the hook, and to play it safe? Are you doing the hard work of relationship building?

I am choosing more and more to enter into these conversations. I don’t always do them perfectly, I am learning more each one I enter into. There is always fear at the start, but I am always so grateful that I took the risk.

For those that you meet with, what are you modelling? Are you allowing for the tough conversations? Are you building trust? You may have some swamps to walk through, and yet, to experience the POP – there is so much joy in that.

May this be your reality as you lead others. May our discipleship encompass all aspects of life, the good, the bad and the ugly – there is no other way.

For the kingdom.

Consistency

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Clocks v2

Here are some thoughts from my daughter as she continues to work through the discipline of consistency.

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Consistency. Yes, we all know this is something I haven’t been good at when it comes to blog writing, but some of you have challenged me to get back at it – so here I am. Besides my lack of consistency of writing, consistency is something that is very important to me, and something I strive to achieve. And for some, hearing the word “consistent” may trigger the word “routine” or “boredom”. I can assure you, it goes much deeper than that.

For the last year and a half, I have coordinated an after school program in a lower income neighbourhood in London, and it has stretched me in ways I didn’t know I could stretch. I am there twice a week with the kids, and we do lots of things together – this month we’ve been looking at famous artists and have been re-creating their artwork. These kids have amazing imaginations and art abilities! What I have noticed though, is that the longer I am there, the greater the impact. Consistency is not easy, but here are three things that I have learned about its importance.

First, it builds trust. Trust is not an easy thing, especially with children and adults who have not had a lot of success with trusting others. With that in mind, I knew going into this that I would have to commit a large portion of my time to this neighbourhood, and almost two years later, trust is finally building. The kids trust that what I say is true (praise is not something many of them hear often), and more importantly, they trust that I’m not going anywhere. They can let their guard down (sometimes not a fun thing for me to deal with), and understand that I will love them unconditionally. It also moves beyond the kids – the parents have begun to trust me, and some have opened up about deep issues. Gaining complete trust is a very slow process, but consistency will get you there.

Second, long term impact. A while ago I sat down with a lady who lived in the neighbourhood when she was a child. She grew up in a house where domestic violence was the norm, and as the oldest child, she had to care for her 3 younger siblings. Living in that environment led to disastrous teenage/young adult years. When she hit rock bottom, she went back to church. Why? Because the only thing consistent in her life as a child was the church bus. In the midst of the unpredictable and inconsistent, she always counted on the bus to come on Sunday morning. This story is what keeps me focused during those times I think, “Is what I’m doing actually helpful?” In the midst of the chaos, the kids can guarantee that we will be there Tuesdays and Thursdays right after school with arms open wide for a hug. My prayer is that this is what will keep them on the right track, or bring them back if they do end up hitting rock bottom.

Finally, I’ve learned about tough seasons. I would be lying if I said I jump for joy every week about going to see the kids. There are times where I just don’t want to go, or times where I don’t want to plan, or times where I don’t think anything is working. It’s during those times that the first thing that comes to mind is that I should quit. I would say it’s during these seasons that people can quickly fall into the trap of, “I don’t find joy doing it, so it must be God telling me to step back.” Nobody could tell me that God would want me to step back from caring for His children. It’s in those tough seasons where I have to think beyond myself – really, it’s never about me – and trust that God is still working through me even when my heart isn’t in it. I simply have to blindly obey.

Consistency. Its importance stretches beyond the kids in my after school program – it can be applied to all areas of life – including my role in leading other girls in a triad. Week in. Week out. Consistent.

1 Corinthians 15:58 says, “Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain.”

Madison