On April 15, 2016 I turned 50 and drank my first cup of coffee – dark roast, black! I figured that it was time that I matured and acted my age, so drinking coffee seemed like the logical next step to let people know that I am now of age:)

Over the past year as I knew I was approaching my 50^th birthday I came to the realization that perhaps my best years were still ahead, that in my first 50 years I had done a lot of learning and that I’m now ready to take on some significant work. I started thinking about the next 30 years of my life and what I’d like to accomplish, that I shouldn’t be afraid to step out and try something new, to step into areas that perhaps I may have been avoiding, to never settle for mediocrity – even to try drinking coffee!

I believe that we all face these times in life. We think that we should step into something but then convince ourselves that perhaps it’s too late to try, and so we avoid. What I am talking of?

Perhaps you have thought that you’d love to connect with your neighbours, to create a deeper sense of community on your street or in your apartment, yet you’ve been there 10 years and you haven’t taken any risks, so perhaps the time has passed by, that it’s too late. Why think this way? How about this spring/summer, when everyone spends more time outside, to go over, begin a conversation, and take the next step in creating a deeper sense of community.

Perhaps among your friends you have wanted to go deeper in your journey of faith, to pray together, to serve together. Yet you’ve settled into routines and everyone knows what to expect and you don’t want to be the one to upset “the way things are”; after all, you’ve been friend for such a long time, what you have is good enough, isn’t it? Then why the nagging feeling that perhaps there could be more? Why not take the risk and go to a whole new level of engagement.

Perhaps your marriage is okay but nothing more. A little stale. You have your routines, you know what to expect, you’re both comfortable but not really all that excited about your relationship. Maybe it’s as good as it gets, after all, the emotions of “love” are for those dating and the newly married, but not while raising kids, and once they’re gone why not just keep living together without grand expectations of something exciting – don’t upset what you know you can expect. But maybe, just maybe, there is something more. But you know that it will take stepping out of the routines, taking a chance, maybe starting over, not with someone new, but with something new with the one you committed your life to years ago.

It’s never too late to start. It’s never too late to step out and take a chance. It’s never too late to set out on a new course.

That’s what spring is all about isn’t it? Newness of life. Plants come alive and blossom. Animals come out with their young. It is a new day, a new season, all about new life.

It can be the same for us, if we choose to step out of our routines. Yes it might feel uncomfortable. Yes it might involve some effort. And yet, it could be a new time for your life, something you never thought possible but only dreamed about. Why not let this spring be a new day for you, for your marriage, for your friendships, for your family, for your neighbourhood, for your workplace? Why can’t it start with you?

As followers of Christ and leaders of others on their journey of discipleship, we are called to bring life just as Christ brought life to us. It is our time, it is our season, let’s lead the way.

For the kingdom.

As a leader of others, no doubt the conversation of God’s will for our lives will come up. Now in reality, there are two levels of God’s will that should be explored. First, is the will of God in general for all of our lives. God’s will is that I am a sacrificial husband/wife. God’s will is that I am a person of integrity. God’s will is that I love my neighbours. These are God’s will for all of us.

Then there is the more specific will of God for our lives, things that God has designed us to do individually. In this case, how do you discern the will of God for your life? Is God concerned with the minutia of every little detail or just the bigger life questions? How much are we simply called to make good decisions from the insight and wisdom we have acquired over the years from those we respect and from ongoing engagement with the bible and prayer? Could there often be multiple answers that are all good and God leaves it up to us to choose in the moment.

I had a friend in university who sought after God’s will for every decision in life. Should he go to the beach with friends on Saturday – he asked God for the answer. Should he buy a certain car – he asked God for the answer. Should he join intramural basketball or volleyball – he asked God for the answer.

In one sense I admired his desire to know God’s will for his life, on the other hand I questioned whether it really was that important to ask God to answer these questions – did God really care? Did it demonstrate greater faith in God, or less faith in God?

Personally, I do not seek God’s guidance in such a way. In one sense, I am seeking God always and making the best decisions as I think reasonable. I try to hold onto each decision loosely so that if God chooses to step in a change direction I am open to what that might be.

As you may be aware, I came upon such a life decision this past year. The elders of the church I work at asked me to take on the role of Interim Executive Pastor in December 2014 as they determined how they were going to fill the vacant position of Lead Pastor. I love the church I am at and have always tried to make myself available for whatever the leadership of the church asked of me, so I had no problem saying yes. However, his meant that Jan and I needed to put on hold some plans that we had made – we had been planning on moving to Lithuania in August 2015 so that I could begin a teaching role at a university in Klaipeda, Lithuania, a city on the Baltic Sea. We were okay with delaying things by a year.

However, once the elders had put together a search team in June 2015 to begin the process of hiring a new Lead Pastor, I was torn. Was I to put my name forward as a candidate? I had many people encouraging me to put my name forward and yet I was unsure. Was it better for me to stay, or was God’s will that I go to Lithuania? Both options seemed like good options. Both options I believed would use my gifts. There was no guarantee that the elders would choose me if I did apply for the position, and the teaching role was a guarantee, so why not simply go with the sure thing and avoid any disappointment?

Because of my uncertainty, I told the elders and the staff in the spring of 2015 that I would not be applying for the Executive Lead Pastor position. If I couldn’t be certain then I didn’t want to step into this journey. Thus began several months of ongoing wrestling. My journal is full of prayers and questioning. I bounced these ideas off of many trusted friends. The big question: what was God’s will for my life? Did it matter if I went to teach or applied to stay at North Park? Could I ever know for certain?

The journey was slow, and there was never a big aha moment that I can remember. I do remember leaving the final session of the Willow Creek Leadership Summit in August 2015. As I walked out of the auditorium I turned to a colleague and said, “I’m going to apply for the position at North Park,” and that was that. It wasn’t one of the talks we had heard over the two day event and it wasn’t one key conversation from the previous months, it was simply a continual seeking after God and being completely open to what he would want for me and Jan. In reality, the final decision seemed rather anti-climactic, it just seemed to be the right thing to do. I had no guarantees that the elders would select me for the role, and even if they didn’t I think I would have been okay with that.

So that’s my story of the past year. I’m not sure what you may be experiencing, where you are seeking God’s guidance. I have found that it is in the everyday connection, seeking him in all things, making the best decisions with the information that I have, and then holding onto everything loosely, allowing God to change course if he so desires. After all, he is God, I am not. His kingdom come, his will be done, on earth, and in my life, as it is in heaven.

As you lead others, may you be open and honest with the wrestling you do. And may you be able to guide those that you lead on this journey of discipleship as they work to understand God’s will for their lives.

For the kingdom.