We are embarking on a new year, and even though practically speaking it is simply another 7 day week, culturally speaking, January has a unique way of forcing us to reflect on life and perhaps make changes to some aspects of our life.

So let’s stop and think about your role as one who guides others on the path of discipleship. How was last year? Was it successful? How would you define success?

Here are a few thoughts to ponder:

1) Were you consistent in connecting with those you committed to leading? I mean being physically present. Looking each other in the eye and having meaningful conversations. Did you consistently pray for each other when you were together?

2) Did you pray for them when you weren’t together? Were they on your mind during the week? Did you take time to present their concerns to God? Did you pray for things that you were noticing about them?

3) Did you intentionally guide them in the scriptures? How did you do this? Do you believe that they love the bible more than they did previously? Was it simply bible information or was there life transformation?

4) Did you lead them into new aspects of faith? Did you attempt new spiritual disciplines to stretch you, even if they felt unnatural?

5) Has your heart grown for them? Do you love them more? Does your heart ache for their growth and development in loving and following Jesus?

6) How are you doing? Do you still have a passion to see others grow? Has leading others on their journey of discipleship become boring or exhauating? Do you resent the time that you give to this aspect of your life?

What will 2016 be like for you? What do you need to change to ensure that those you have chosen to lead are getting your best, that you aren’t cutting corners and simply going through the motions? How do you need to fill your tank so that you are leading from the overflow of your heart?

A lot of questions to ponder and I don’t expect you to necessarily have answers to them all. Perhaps you have questions of your own that you’ve been pondering.

The big thing is this – reflect, think, ponder. It’s a new year.

For the kingdom.

I have had several conversations the past few weeks regarding people’s frustration over what appears to be discipling relationships that feel like a person is simply going through the motions and not being willing to be truly wanting to engage in deep life change. In these conversations the person I was speaking with was in essence asking me what to do, if there really is anything they can do. Is this normal, is there life change taking place but perhaps it just looks different than what the person I was speaking to persaonally experiences and expresses? In all cases, the person they were wondering about was physically present, the material they were working through had been completed and they had answers to the questions about the scriptures they were looking at – it just appeared like it was a check box activity in their life, that no real change was taking place, it seemed dry.

I’ve been pondering these discussions and I must say that I don’t have the definitive answer. Up front, let’s agree that we can never declare if life change is taking place in the heart of another person, it can look so different in each of us. I know that I’m not a very expressive person during times of singing at my church and yet there are moments when my heart is moved with a phrase from a song that I think about it for days after. So let’s always assume that if someone is engaging with the scriptures with other intentional people, surely something is happening.

But in this, what can you do to perhaps prod someone to open up and be more receptive to what the Holy Spirit is desiring to do in their life. Here are some ideas.

First, ask. Sometimes the most obvious answer is the best solution. If you have been together for a period of time then hopefully a trust has been established, if you’re not sure, then asking this question will be a great way to reveal the depth of a relationship. It may be awkward for a bit, but if you are willing to openly discuss it something beautiful may emerge which will excite all of you. Make sure you ask the question from your perspective such as – “As I have been connecting with you these past 6 months, my perception is that …… I’d love to understand more what learning looks like for you and how you express it.” Find your own words, but maybe this example can help.

Second, model. Be willing to share openly about the life change that specific scriptures are asking you to make. Share about the scriptures that don’t make sense to you and how you’d love to have more insight. Be real in demonstrating what you are truly learning and struggling with.

Finally, pray continually, and ask that the Holy Spirit does what only the Holy Spirit can do. We are called to pray for each other, especially those that we are engaging with so closely. Wrestle with God and ask him to move in someone’s life. Also, ask him to reveal to you where they are growing, to show you their heart that is being changed so that you can be encouraged that the energy you are putting into the relationship is bearing fruit.

That’s all I can suggest for the time being. May you continue in obedience to do what you are called to do and to trust God to do the rest.

For the kingdom.