Have you ever had a big AHA moment? You know, those moments when you finally got it, when a thing that you had perhaps been pondering for a while finally clicked. It was like all the scattered pieces of the puzzle dropped into place in a moment and the entire picture was clear.

I love those moments. Over the past number of years I have read a number of books that were in themselves AHA books. I had been thinking about a number of aspects around a certain topic, perhaps for months, maybe years, and I read a book that in an amazing way brings together all of those thoughts into one coherent document and I find myself almost completing each sentence for the author and know what the next chapter is going to be. I can’t put the book down because it aligns everything in such an amazing way that it lifts my heart to new places and allows me to talk about what I have been thinking about in new and articulate ways.

It’s also a lot of fun to see this take place with the guys that I am meeting with. To be a front line witness as this unfolds in a life. Two examples come to mind immediately.

The first happened a few years ago. I had been connecting with a couple of guys each week and it all appeared to be going well. Conversations were good, praying was intense and passionate, changes were being made to our lives, our marriages and our parenting. And then, half way through one of our times together the one guy stopped the conversation. He said, “I never thought it could be this good.”

Now you have to realize that I thought he was doing well to that point. I knew that he had grown up in the church and had been in all kinds of leadership roles, but I also knew that no one had ever come alongside him in such an intentional way as we were connecting. But what was he getting at?

He explained simply that he had always enjoyed connecting with a church community, and that he had never questioned his faith. He had always been faithful in his relationship with God as well. Everything was strong and good as far as his faith in Jesus was concerned. And yet something happened in our group. Things came together. What he thought was “good enough” as far as faith was concerned, became something “amazing.” Scripture came alive in ways he wasn’t expecting. Praying was deep and rich. Our relationships were open and honest, and they were very safe, no matter what topic we took on.

He had a big AHA moment of what a rich faith centred relationship could look like, and he loved it. It was fun to be with him in the room that day.

The second happened just recently. We have been working through our discipleship curriculum and I was personally loving the insight that was coming out of our conversations. These two guys were really engaged. A few weeks ago we were looking at the topic of worship, and what it meant that God was worthy of our worship. The conversation was once again vibrant. And then the one guy said something that I’ll never forget. He said the following: “Half way through my study at home I was hit with the enormity of who God was and my position before him, and all I could do was kneel down in the room and start to pray. I had no other response but to kneel.” There was a huge smile on his face and a glow about him. He had had an AHA moment of who God was. He came face to face with the God of the universe who loved him deeply and he simply fell to his knees. I think I was smiling as much as he was as he told of that experience. I got to be a small part of his deepening understanding of who God is – he’ll never forget that moment, and neither will I.

What a privilege we have in leading others on their journey of faith. There won’t be big AHA moments everytime you meet, but there will be some. And when they are there, sit back and take it all in. Thank God that you got to witness this great thing in someone’s life.

For the kingdom.

I was having a great conversation with my wife, a fellow disciple-maker, the other day. We were discussing the initial stages of the process when we are only a few months into the journey of intentionally connecting with those we are helping on the journey. As we were bouncing around ideas about the fun as well as the complications of these first few months, she said to me, “It is so fragile.”

As I heard that word, I could only nod my head in agreement. It is a great word to use to describe it. And as we talked more, we realized that the fragility was seen in those we are coming alongside as well as in ourselves. Perhaps you have experienced this.

There is a bit of a dance that takes place at the start of a discipling journey. As much as someone has agreed to allow us to lead them, and as much as we have tried to be fully honest in what our expectations are, they simply “don’t know what they don’t know.” They really don’t know what they are getting themselves into – this includes the time commitment as well as the life change that will take place which can be uncomfortable at time.

After the conversation, I reflected on some of the guys that I have journeyed with over the years.

I have connected with a number of guys that started out strong and appeared fully committed, and yet, within a few months, it was over. They lost interest. There were other life priorities that kept coming up. Questions I asked appeared to poke around in places in their lives that they just didn’t seem to want to talk about. And the journey ended before it really began.

Others I have met with appeared to be confused at the start, and I questioned right away whether or not they would make it. They had questions about life and shared things about what they believed that left me wondering whether they would stick around that long. Their current experiences and beliefs made me wonder about their faith and whether or not it would be a long journey of doubts and questions for the sake of questions without a desire to truly mature in faith. It is during these times that I simply take the stance of listener and allow them to speak what they need to. Inside I am wondering when I need to push them in a new direction and when I simply need to hold back and let the Holy Spirit do what only the Holy Spirit can do. If I interject too soon I might ruin a journey of faith. If I hold back too long without challenging where I believe I need to, I am failing to lead as I believe I am called to.

It is during these moments when you realize how fragile the situation is.

I have come to appreciate the parable of the Sower and Seed in deeper ways over the past few years. It describes so well these situations. You can read it in Luke 8. The seed is being spread and begins to germinate, but at times the sun withers it up, or the worries of this world choke the plant, or at times the devil comes and takes the seed away even before it has a chance to take root. The seed appears to be so fragile.

I wish I had the simple solution to these fragile times. I wish there was a science to understanding what it is all about and the 3 steps to take to make sure that someone stays on track. But I’ve learned that it is not that simple. It is something you simply need to learn over time through trial and error. And believe me, I have had my share of errors in this area. Some guys have been gracious with me as I have learned, others not so.

When you experience this, I simply encourage you to stay with it. Keep praying for discernment. Maintain a heart that is truly wanting the best for each person you are discipling. And if it doesn’t go as planned, don’t beat yourself up. Learn what you can learn, be open to the Holy Spirit speaking to and molding you personally. And get back in the game.