Madison’s Question to Matthew: What lessons about leadership did you learn in 2018?

What a great question. And, as someone who likes to reflect, it was good to have this question put before me to ponder. Some of these items are simply validations of things I knew but were emphasized again. Others become even more entrenched in my beliefs about leadership. So, in no particular order, here is what I thought of with respect to leadership looking back on 2018.

1) Keep asking for commitment, it’s not your job to say no for someone. How important this is. Far too often, in speaking with others about who we should approach for a certain task, they assume that the person we are considering will say no and then give the reason they believe the person will give. I don’t know why we choose to respond for someone who isn’t even in the room. Our role as leaders is to select who be believe is best suited for a role, ask them to take it on, and then let them decide whether or not to do it.

2) Make the tough decisions, it’s the leader’s job. Scary at times, yet always true. A leader is a leader to make decisions. To choose one path over another. To decide to stop doing something. To allocate resources into areas to fulfill a vision and as such choose not to fund something else. To know when someone needs to be moved out of a role and make that happen, to not let fear guide your decisions. Everyone has ideas and opinions, only leaders have the strength to make the final call.

3) There is a big difference between management and leadership. This relates in some ways to point 2. Many managers like to think of themselves as leaders, when in reality they are managers. They are critically important for any organization. However, a manager is ensuring a specific aspect of the mission is being implemented – they have been given the box to work in, the boundaries, now they implement. Yes, there are aspects of leadership within that, yet too often people want to use the title of leadership but not carry the weight of leadership. Perhaps I’m slicing hairs – in my mind, there is a difference.

4) Visionary, versus Operator versus Processor – I read an amazing book in 2018 called The Synergist. In it, the author outlined the three types of people in any organization – Visionaries, Operators, and Processors. All are needed to make an organization last and flourish, yet each person needs to be fully aware of their tendencies. Additionally, he argued that everyone needs to become a Synergist – to put the needs of the organization ahead of their tendencies, recognizing that there are opportunities for all three types to play a role. It gave me new language to engage with my team and an understanding of some next steps for us to move forward. I highly recommend this book for all leaders.

5) Engage veteran leaders in retirement. This has been a fun new initiative for me. I am in conversation with a number of retirees and soon to be retirees who want to work at our church, 1-3 days a week. They don’t need to be paid, but want to bring their skills developed during their career to enhance the life of the church. How amazing these conversations have been with one person already coming on staff. As a leader, I need to be open to all means to accomplish the mission set before us. Think “outside the box”.

6) You will always be misunderstood – get used to it. Stating the obvious for many leaders. This goes along with point 2. Yet I need to keep reminding myself of this. Every decision I make will enthrall some and disappoint others, it’s the nature of leadership. I have given vision presentations during a service and I’ll receive accolades from some and disappointed emails from others. Do what you believe you are called to do and let the chips fall where they may.

7) Always love, don’t let bitterness get a hold of you in any way. This relates to 6. I can only control my response. In the past I have let bitterness creep in. It is no fun. In 2018, more often than not, I have allowed myself to love and care for those who are frustrated and angry with me. I assume that they are really good people, that their frustration comes from another place, not me. I try to learn what I can, but choose to think the best of them and show them love as best as they will allow me to. It makes all the difference.

8) Decisions that you implement sometimes take a lot of time to see the fruit. In 2018 I was able to experience the beauty of this. Decisions I was called on to make in 2016 are now showing the results, and the results are good. But to wait 18-24 months to see the benefits of a decision can be painful. And you can second guess the decision as it takes time to gain momentum. During the time of waiting, you need to continually remind yourself that you made the correct decision based on the information you had available at that time. Trust your insight, and trust that God was guiding you in the process.

8) When you have momentum, it is a lot of fun to lead. Wow, is this the truth. I am privileged to be leading in a season of momentum. It took us 3+ years to get here, but we are here. The key will be to not rest in this season but to continue to lean into it. Yet it sure is fun when you can see the blessings of past decisions that have led to this particular season. The team is engaged and excited, their confidence is high, and the church is feeling like they are growing and making a difference.

So, that is what I have learned about leadership looking back on 2018. How about you?

For the kingdom.

Matthew’s Question to Madison: After reading my doctoral thesis, what intrigued you? What did you learn about me?

Often times the living room at home is the incubator for really random conversation and ideas – I sometimes wish I could be a fly on the wall in those conversations (even though I’m part of them). A couple months ago, dad and I were probably bantering about something in the living room, but somehow the conversation turned to his thesis.

“Oh, what did you write your thesis on?”, I curiously asked.

Dad goes on to say the really long title that no one will remember, yet all the words are necessary for grad students who may be interested in his topic.

“Want to read it?”, he asks me.

“You still have it?”, I’m a bit surprised, I admit.

“Of course! It’s bound and everything.”

“What?!” Clearly I know nothing about theses, except that people spend a lot of time researching and writing.

Well of course I’m intrigued, so he goes to his bookshelf and pulls out a black, hardcover book with gold lettering on the front. I immediately open it, and flip through the pages, taking time to explore the table of contents. What did my dad spend countless hours on to produce this book?

So over the next while, I read through my dad’s thesis that he wrote in 2012.

First of all, being able to read through the thesis made me a really proud daughter – even though he wrote it multiple years ago. The tangible object was evidence of something he worked hard on.

Before I even get into the content of his thesis and some of the stand out points for me, what was most amazing for me was the fact that the content of his thesis is something he still talks about today. Most of what I read wasn’t anything new to me simply because he and I have had in depth conversations about it over the years. The pages display his hearts desires and life mission, and to know that what he wrote in 2012 he still believes and lives out today is truly inspiring.

Okay, enough proud daughter talk – I’m sure you’re on the edge of your seat wondering what the topic was! Here’s the title:

Transformative Journeys: An 8-Month Engagement of Integrated Discipleship Through Service Learning

I don’t remember much of dad working this fine piece of literature, but I do remember the project he created to base his writing around. It was called Engaging Journeys. In brief, it was an 8-month program that people applied for that was about biblical service in the city. Participants would choose from a set list of organizations in the city that worked with vulnerable populations, and they would get to serve in some capacity at that location. Beyond the hands on portion, there was a once a month gathering for all participants to share about their experiences, and be discipled in biblical service.

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on this quote,

“Do practically what you are positionally”

There are so many different positions and postures, and each would impact the practicality of it in different ways. So if one’s position is a follower of Christ, what should their practical actions look like? How should their actions change based on their position?

Each follower of Christ will take different action steps depending on their giftinging, life stage, and other facts. The goal of Engaging Journeys was to spark another avenue of practical application to someone’s faith position. For many, the steps of moving into uncomfortable zones, and being challenged to act on what they say they believe was actually a strengthening of their faith. I’d argue it was because they experienced God in ways they never had previously.

But the weight can’t be all on application – otherwise the position is at risk of sliding in all sorts of directions. I appreciated that during the project, participants came together to reflect, and gain deeper insight into Who they were serving, and why serving in a way that Jesus served was so valuable.

A portion of the thesis was all about the model of Jesus’ discipleship. The main points included 1) pursuing personal interaction, 2) engaging in faith stretching experiences, 3) interacting through questions, 4) acting on mission with practical tasks, 5) having a vision for the future, and 6) knowing the importance of Scripture.

What a model! I’m challenged by reading those points. Jesus is our best example of discipleship, and I know there are points that I could do better with. Yet I’m so thankful to even have a model – otherwise I’d float into the abyss, with no direction.

To wrap this blog up, I’m thankful everyday for a family legacy of discipleship (extends back generations). And I’m thankful for those who participated in Engaging Journeys who had faith backgrounds and for those who didn’t grow up with faith, and how they were all willing to do practically what they are positionally.